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Lombard divorce attorneysParents who get divorced almost always share the same top concern: how will the divorce affect their children? Divorce is a deeply stressful even for children of all ages to go through. They are losing the only reality they have ever been familiar with and plunging into the unknown. However, there are also many benefits to children when their parents’ divorce, some of which may surprise you.

Decrease in Household Tension May Come as a Relief to Children

Researchers from UCLA looked at 47 studies that connected children’s experiences in tension-filled home environments to later problems in adulthood. The researchers found what many would suspect:  Children that experience high levels of conflict at home had more physical, emotional, and social issues later in life compared to control groups. As adults, those who grew up in homes with intense arguments or feuding parents, were more likely to report vascular and immune problems, depression, substance abuse and addiction, loneliness, and problems with intimacy that those who did not grow up in high-conflict households. Research also shows that it is not only households with a lot of overt aggression or yelling that cause these issues for children. Stonewalling or a parent giving the other the “silent treatment” were also destructive actions with regard to children’s long-term mental health.


Posted on in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneyWhy did you marry your spouse? Most people answer this question by explaining all the desirable characteristics that the individual had that made them a good potential partner. They tend to note that their spouse was kind, thoughtful, generous, or funny. In essence, their spouse had a personality which complimented their own. We often think of character traits or personality to be intrinsically woven into a person’s DNA. A person may learn and grow but his or her personality never really changes. If this is the case, then why do so many marriages end in divorce?

Researcher and psychologist Walter Mischel says that everything we thought we knew about the immutability of someone’s personality may be wrong. These revelations about the instability of personality could help explain how two people who started out in love can find themselves so distant from one another after a relatively short period of time.

Mischel's Cognitive-Affective Model


Posted on in Divorce

Lombard divorce lawyerThe aftermath of a divorce is often the most difficult for the children involved in the process. Children of divorced parents tend to face extreme emotional conflict and upheaval. It is, therefore, imperative for parents to ensure that their children feel loved, supported, and heard. There are four key strategies to keep in mind when trying to help a child understand and navigate divorce.

Discuss Divorce Appropriately

Children need to feel included when major changes impact the family; it is completely unfair and counterproductive to keep them in the dark. If divorce is looming, it should be discussed with the children as soon as possible. Ideally, you will be able to find a quiet, familiar place where everyone can sit down and talk. Children do not need to know all the details involved with the pending divorce. However, they do need to know the basic facts of the situation and these facts should be presented to them in an age-appropriate manner.


Posted on in Divorce

Lombard divorce attorneysMany people in struggling marriages wait until later in life to divorce. Couples consisting of partners aged 50 and above now account for a full quarter of all divorces in the United States. Divorce between older individuals has been nicknamed “gray divorce,” and has been on the rise in this country for a number of years.

Couples get divorced after many years of marriage for various reasons. Some do not want to upset the family balance while there are children living at home. Others wait for financial or career-oriented reasons. Still others may have tried for a long time to salvage the marriage and finally decide to call it quits. While a divorce is a life-changing event for individuals of any age, waiting until later in life to get a divorce comes with its own special challenges.

Factors to Consider When Divorcing After the Age of 50


Posted on in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneyMany people going through a divorce are worried about what will happen to their health insurance. This is a valid concern because there are not always many good options, regardless of a person’s marital status.

Typically, insurance is provided through an individual’s employer. When one spouse has both spouses on his or her health insurance through an employer and then the spouses divorce, that often leaves one spouse without any coverage whatsoever. Such a situation could be the result of that spouse being unemployed, staying home to take care of children, or working for an employer that does not offer health insurance coverage.

Why Does the Spouse Get Dropped?


Lombard family law attorneyIn contested divorces, many spouses begin the case thinking about the marital property they would like to keep. Often the parties will dispute who gets the house. Sometimes one spouse would really like a certain piece of furniture or possibly a vehicle that the couple bought together. Marital property is more than just physical objects, however, and there is even more to it than just considering the current cash and investments that you and your spouse have. Under Illinois law, pension and retirement accounts are also considered marital property, and though you and your spouse may not retire for many years, this money will need to be considered in your divorce agreement.

Dividing Pension and Retirement Accounts in an Illinois Divorce

In Illinois, marital property is generally anything that the spouses acquired together during the course of a marriage. The state of Illinois considers pensions, whether they are vested or unvested, to be marital property subject to division in divorce proceedings. According to the law, marital assets are to be split equitably. This does not mean that each spouse will get half of all marital assets, but rather that a court will divide these assets as fairly as possible.


no-fault divorce, Lombard family law attorneyA new report suggests that public opinion regarding divorce is beginning to shift a bit. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth, an offshoot of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Americans today are less approving of divorce than they were even just five years ago.

At the same time, it can hardly be argued that such opinions are the result of a trend toward more traditional, conservative values, as Americans expressed more favorable attitudes toward young couples living together before marriage and same-sex marriages. Some have suggested that the changing view of divorce is reflective of Americans acknowledging the seriousness of a marital commitment. More people, it seems, believe that a couple should explore every possibility of resolving their problems before heading to court to dissolve their marriage.

The No-Fault Divorce Process


Posted on in Mediation

mediation, Illinois divorce, Lombard family lawyerA litigated divorce can be extremely stressful, time-consuming, and, in many cases, rather expensive. As an alternative, many couples are able to reach a reasonable divorce agreement through the process of mediation, meeting with a third party facilitator to work out their differences on the all of the pertinent issues. While it can be a very useful tool, there are certain situations in which mediation may not be appropriate. In these cases, litigation may provide the only option for an equitable divorce settlement.

Potentially Less Accountability

Mediation is, at its core, a negotiation process, which means that the parties often begin at extreme opposite ends of a particular issue and work their way toward compromise somewhere in the middle. Complex divorce cases—especially those involving one or both spouses with high net-worth—typically require complicated evaluations of business interests and real estate holdings. These evaluations may be artificially inflated in a mediated divorce case, with the implication that they are merely a starting point for the negotiation. This can be dangerous if one party lacks the appropriate knowledge to properly challenge the valuation or does not have the opportunity to cross-examine the expert who prepared it.


child custody modificationLife happens, and a child custody order which may have been perfectly workable for both parties can quickly become outdated, unfair, and harmful to the children. A job change, a new relationship, a midlife crisis and countless other items can significantly disrupt a divided family’s life.

As a rule of thumb, most family law orders need to be formally modified, or at least updated, every three or four years. Many parents are concerned about visitation and custody provisions which may no longer be in the children’s best interest. What does a party need to prove to modify custody in Illinois?



divorced parentsThe New Year brings with it lost of promise. Many people set goals for themselves in the form of New Year resolutions. Although sticking to an exercise program, eating healthier, and quitting smoking are all popular and important resolutions to have, one of the most important resolutions you can make as a divorced parent is to make what one family therapist calls the "Divorced Parent Pledge" to ensure a secure and happy life for your child.

Some of the promises a divorced parent can make to their children include:

  • Do not try to make the changes divorce brings to a child’s life sound as if it will all be a new adventure. Acknowledge that a lot of these changes can be scary, and sad, for your child. Validate their feelings. But also reassure that it will all work out and everything will be okay for them.
  • Even if your child repeats something negative about something their other parent says about you or blames you for, do not get into a finger pointing match over it. Do not use your child as a messenger delivery service to keep a feud going with your ex or to deliver child support or alimony checks.
  • If something your child does or says reminds you of the other parent, do not recoil in disgust or negativity. Remember, although your child has traits of both parents, he or she is their own individual. Embrace and love them for that.
  • Whatever visitation schedule you and your ex-spouse have worked out, it is important to allow the child to have some control over their own lives, within reason. Be flexible and try to accommodate those needs your child may have. Spending more time with one parent does not mean your child loves the other parent any less.
  • Do not have important discussions, or disagreements with your spouse, in front of your child. And also be aware that if these discussions are taking place over the phone, and your child is around, there is a strong possibility they are aware there is a disagreement taking place. Do it in private.
  • When you do have to attend events together with your ex-spouse, like school events or sport games, leave the acrimony at home. Your behavior towards each other will have a profound effect on your child’s enjoyment, so make sure the event is about your child and not whether or not you ex-spouse missed a child support payment that week.
  • Remember that at one time, you and your spouse did share good feelings for each other, such as when your child was born. Share those happy and funny stories with your child. Give them something more for their "memory boxes" than only memories of their parents fighting and hating each other.

Divorce is hard and can be devastating for children, especially if there is a child custody battle that is taking place. In these cases, it is critical to have an experienced Lombard divorce attorney representing you, especially if your soon-to-be ex-spouse is not putting your child’s needs first.

balance in marriageIke and Mamie, Franklin and Eleanor, Ron and Nancy, Bill and Hillary are all examples of power couples who have made their mark on America’s political landscape. How do these political front runners, as well as other industry power couples, maintain marital balance and avoid consulting with a high power divorce attorney?

As per a recent article published by The Huffington Post, power couples tend to do marriage a bit different than the rest of us, although their marital strategies may offer some helpful hints for all marriages.

Brainstorming Together

divorce rateEmory University of Atlanta has long held esteem as one of the nation’s premier liberal arts institutions, as well as a global leader in cutting-edge research. One of the most recent research studies released by Emory encapsulates the conception and probability of divorce among American couples. The study, titled "A Diamond is Forever and Other Fairy Tales: The Relationship Between Wedding Expenses and Marriage Duration," concluded that the combined exorbitant expenses of an engagement ring and wedding preparation may determine the duration of the all-American marriage.

Of the 3,000 adults polled, it was discovered that men who set a limit between $2,000 to $4,000 for an engagement ring were 1.3 times more likely to consult with an experienced divorce attorney at some point in the marriage. Those who opted for a $500 to $2,000 price point remained in the marriage. Those who had a lower budget for engagement rings ranging from $0 to up to $500 also faced a higher instance of divorce.

Emory researchers then surveyed the female participants regarding the cost of the wedding itself. Statistically, women spending more than $20,000 on their once in a lifetime event were found to divorce at a rate 3.5 times higher than those who set the limit between $5,000 to $10,000. This may not be welcoming news for any bride to be since the average cost of today’s wedding is at least $30,000.

As the significant divorce rate remains a thorn in the side of all American couples, the Emory research team concluded their study does little to support the validity of the wedding industry’s extravagant price tag as a precursor to a couple’s "happily ever after."

If you are considering consulting with an experienced Lombard divorce attorney, the legal team A. Traub & Associates understands the importance of reaching a fair resolution at a cost-effective rate. To discuss your situation with one of our experienced attorneys, call 630-426-0196 today.

cost of divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois divorce attorney, divorce financesYou have finally made the decision to get a divorce. Whether it is an agreed upon decision with your spouse or something you've decided on your own, there are several things you should do in order to help minimize the financial hit you could be facing.

According to financial advisors, one of the first things you want to get rid of is any joint loans and credit cards you have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Until your divorce is final, you and your spouse are both legally and financially responsible for each other’s debts, even if you had nothing to do with incurring the debt. If your spouse takes your shared credit card that and decides to go out and charge a whole new wardrobe on it, you are both responsible for the debt. Never assume that your spouse would not do something like that. Even the friendliest divorces can suddenly turn contentious.

Another mistake some people make is making all kinds of financial concessions in order to keep peace during a divorce in order to speed up the process. In some cases, couples opt for mediation rather than litigation, assuming that it will make the divorce process smoother. Mediation is best for couples who had a short marriage with few assets and no children, and couples with great communication skills. In other situations, litigation with attorneys for each partner may be a better option.


Arlington heights family law attorney, finding a lawyer, divorce, Illinois, Lombard family lawyerOne of the most important steps in going through a divorce is choosing your attorney. Having the right attorney can help determine how smooth, or how wrought with delays and frustrations your divorce will be.

When choosing an attorney, you should consider several candidates. Get referrals from several sources. If you have friends who have recently gone through divorces, ask them. Depending on how their divorces went, some may even recommend their ex-spouse's attorney instead of their own. It is also a good idea to get referrals from other attorneys. If you have an attorney you consult with for business or an estate planning attorney, contact them and ask them for a referral. You can also visit the websites of your local and state bar associations to get names of family law attorneys.

After gathering referrals, take the time to research each one in order to help whittle down the list of you will make interview. The Internet is a good place to do this research. Check out the attorney’s website, as well as their LinkedIn page and other social media sites, such as Facebook and Twitter.  Some of the things to consider while conducting your research are:


Posted on in Divorce

online divorce, DIY divorce, Lombard divorce attorney, Lombard divorce lawyer, IllinoisWith the advancement of the internet, it is possible to enjoy all the goods and services we have become accustomed to without ever leaving home. We can order our groceries, style a new wardrobe, do our banking, pay bills and chat with our doctor all from the convenience of our homes. However, the internet does not make us all experts on everything. It is not recommended that you file for divorce online, where scams and false information can be common.

If you are contemplating divorce, the American Bar Association hosts an informative research page providing answers to frequently asked questions and a divorce term glossary. Reputable sites can be helpful but beware of lesser sites offering a quick and affordable online divorce options.

Websites offering you a quick, affordable online divorce can prove perilous for the following reasons:


Posted on in Divorce

spousal support, alimony, spousal maintenance, Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois divorce attorneyUnder the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, an ex-spouse may be entitled to spousal support. Under section 504 of the law, it states, ". . . the court may grant a temporary or permanent maintenance award for either spouse in amounts and for periods of time as the court deems just, without regard to marital misconduct, in gross or for fixed or indefinite periods of time. . ."

There are several factors a judge looks at in deciding whether or not to grant spousal support. Some of the criteria include the following:
  • The length of the marriage;
  • The present and future earning capacity of the spouses;
  • The standard of living the parties had while married;
  • The length of time it will take for the spouse seeking spousal support to obtain training and establish themselves professionally; and
  • Any prior agreement the couple may have had.
In rare circumstances, a permanent spousal support (spousal maintenance) order is granted. When granting a maintenance order, a judge will usually set a time limit on how long the payments will be received. Depending on how long the order will be in effect, the law also allows for periodic review and/or modification if needed. Certain circumstances will put an end to spousal support payments if they occur before the deadline decided by the judge. The death of either spouse automatically stops all maintenance. Remarriage of the spouse receiving the payments also puts an end to the support. As outlined in the statute, "the party receiving maintenance cohabits with another person on a resident, continuing conjugal basis," is not as black and white as death and remarriage. In many cases, the spouse receiving the spousal support doesn’t volunteer that they are living with someone, nor do they admit they are when pressed by the spouse who is paying the support. Instead, the spouse making the payments has to provide proof to present to the court. There are certain key signs that point to cohabitation. Financial interdependencies between the ex-spouse and their significant other can help build a strong case to stop support payments. Do they share a home, food, utility bills and household responsibilities? Also look at how close they are as a couple and how they present themselves to the public, including involvement with each other’s children. If you were ordered to make spousal support payments in your divorce, but suspect that your ex-spouse is cohabitating with someone else, contact an experienced Lombard family law attorney to find out what steps you may be able to take to have the support order stopped.

children of divorce, Lombard, Illinois, divorce attorney, family lawyer in IllinoisYou are thinking of meeting with a divorce attorney and wonder what impact your decision will have on your children. You understand the tension and uneasiness blanketing the house may soon dissipate and you and the kids can settle into a more harmonic routine. You worry a bit about how the kids will handle the absence of their other parent, but take some comfort in their resiliently. You are not expecting any changes in their behavior as all things fall into place.

Researchers, Daniel S. Shaw and Erin M. Ingoldsby of the University of Pittsburgh disagree. These colleagues have researched the conceptualizations of the impact of divorce on children and how they tend to adjust to the overall situation. By highlighting sections of their Children of Divorce you may gain a better understanding of the behaviors on the horizon as your children adjust to the new family dynamics. Externalization Problems

This is the most consistent finding when it comes to how a child may process the situation and brings to the surface personal difficulties with delinquency, aggression and disobedience.

Internalization Problems

Although this is less compelling than the evidence of externalization issues, research suggests difficulties are more common in girls than their male counterparts. Female children of divorce are more likely to experience depression, anxiety and personal feelings of distress.


illinois divorce health care lawyerDivorce raises many questions and the continuation of health care coverage deserves an immediate answer. To alleviate concerns regarding the continuation of coverage for you and your dependents, plan on addressing your health care rights with an experienced Illinois divorce attorney early in your divorce discussions.

For those residing in Illinois, the Illinois Spousal Continuation Coverage Law (2003) provides continual coverage for up to two years if all criteria has been met. The following Q & A section summarizes your rights under the Spousal Continuation Coverage Law:

Q: Who is protected?


Posted on in Divorce

The impacts of going through a divorce can have tremendous mental and physical impacts on all of the people involved. A recent study by researchers in Finland has found that the use of antidepressants increases right before a divorce. The study explored both males and females who ended up divorced, and they found that the use of anxiety pills, antidepressants, and other psychotropic drugs would "peak" several months before the actual divorce date.

LauraFour years prior to the date of the divorce was the typical start date for increased use of medication to help cope with marital problems and other issues. The use of these drugs also tended to decrease after the divorce had been finalized. In an attempt to manage increased levels of stress leading up to a divorce, it’s not surprising that individuals would reach out for medical assistance when the symptoms of anxiety or depression became overwhelming.

The researchers determined that people are nearly twice as likely to be on some form of these medication right before a divorce when compared with those individuals not facing divorce. Well-being and the impacts of divorce have been explored in numerous academic and research studies in order to better understand how people are preparing for and coping with the effects of divorce. This study would indicate that the problems associated with depression and anxiety reach a "fever pitch" point several months before a divorce is finalized.

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