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DuPage County family law attorneysUnfaithfulness in a marriage is unfortunately common. In fact, surveys show that one or both spouses admit to cheating in one-third of marriages. Men admit to cheating at an average of 22 percent, while approximately 14 percent of women admit to cheating. As any couple who has dealt with infidelity knows, cheating can take a serious toll on a relationship or marriage. There is no surefire way to predict if a partner will cheat on their significant other, but new research has shed light on the reasons that some people cheat.

Researchers from Texas Tech University and the University of Nevada Reno studied the childhoods of adults that ended up cheating on their significant other. They defined cheating as “concealment of behaviors and the resulting emotional fallout” it causes. The researchers discovered that individuals who had parents who were unfaithful to each other were more likely to cheat on their partner as adults. According to the researchers, social learning theory accounts for this trend. Basically, children whose parents cheated on each other are more likely to cheat as adults. The research team found that people whose parents were unfaithful were more likely to accept the favorability of infidelity. This made them more likely to be unfaithful themselves in future relationships.

How Parents Talk to Kids About Cheating Matters

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Posted on in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneyWhy did you marry your spouse? Most people answer this question by explaining all the desirable characteristics that the individual had that made them a good potential partner. They tend to note that their spouse was kind, thoughtful, generous, or funny. In essence, their spouse had a personality which complimented their own. We often think of character traits or personality to be intrinsically woven into a person’s DNA. A person may learn and grow but his or her personality never really changes. If this is the case, then why do so many marriages end in divorce?

Researcher and psychologist Walter Mischel says that everything we thought we knew about the immutability of someone’s personality may be wrong. These revelations about the instability of personality could help explain how two people who started out in love can find themselves so distant from one another after a relatively short period of time.

Mischel's Cognitive-Affective Model

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baby before marriage, divorce, Illinois divorce attorneyConsider a common scenario: a young couple, dating but not engaged, suddenly discovers that they are going to have a baby. They certainly have options, but depending upon their age, maturity level and decision-making skills, they may not be able clearly think through the various possibilities. So, they inform their families.  Just a few generations ago, and to an extent, probably even now, the families were likely to respond with some variation of "I assume you are going to do the right thing," heavily implying that marriage should obviously be the plan. This type of social pressure and the stigma of having a baby before marriage has, for many years, led to an increase the risk of divorce for such couples. Recent studies suggest, however, that this is not the case anymore.

Long-Term Research

Using data from the National Survey of Family Growth, researchers at Cornell University and the University of Michigan conducted a study published last month in the journal Demography. Led by Kelly Musick, associate professor of policy analysis and management at Cornell’s College of Human Ecology, the team closely examined child-bearing couples in two separate periods, from 1985 to 1995 and from 1997 to 2010. What they found was that the landscape of marriage, relationships, and childbirth has drastically changed in a relative short span of time.

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romantic movie, romantic comedies, Illinois family law attorneyMarital and family experts offer a wide variety of advice on how to improve a marriage and to make divorce less likely. Interestingly, however, recent findings suggests that marital stability can possibly be found in a surprising source. It turns out that modeling life after the movies may be just the thing to save your relationship.

According to a study conducted by researchers from the University of Rochester and UCLA, "newlywed couples who watched romantic films together were at a decreased risk for divorce." The research team divided 174 participant couples into four groups that received different levels of couples’ therapy. Two of the groups underwent intensive counseling, focusing on relationship skills, while a third group was given relationship awareness counseling. The last group served as a control, and did receive any counseling.

The study took place over three years. Couples undergoing relationship awareness counseling were instructed to watch romantic comedies together and then talk about the themes presented in the films. At the end of the study, couples that had undergone relationship awareness therapy and watched the films had a comparable and slightly lower rate of separation than couples in structured counseling groups. 13.3 percent of couples that had watched the films had separated compared to 13.4 percent of couples in counseling groups.  Just less than 25 percent of couples that underwent no counseling at all had separated.

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