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Posted on in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneysEnding a marriage through a divorce can leave a gaping hole in your life. You may feel lonely, depressed, unwanted, and bored. The way you used to spend your time and energy has changed, and now you want something new. Some divorcees want to avoid relationships for a time after splitting from their spouse while others are eager to start dating again. Is there a right time to start dating after getting a divorce?

Dating Before Your Divorce is Finalized

“Life happens” as the saying goes and sometimes you meet Mr. Right or Ms. Right before you are technically divorced. Many experts agree that dating during a divorce is not the wisest choice. You may choose to pursue a new relationship at this stage anyway, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

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dating after divorce, impacts of divorce, Illinois family lawyersConsidering all that you have been through during your marriage and divorce, nobody should deny you the opportunity to pursue happiness in your post-divorce life. You have the right to enjoy your new situation to its fullest, and, for many, that may mean starting a new romantic relationship. Casual dating and even a new, serious love interest can be very beneficial for your health and self-esteem following a divorce, but there are some things to keep in mind, especially if you have children.

It May Take Time

While you may have the freedom to pursue dating relationships after your divorce, you may not be ready for it immediately. This, of course, depends on what type of dating you are considering and your own emotional health. If you are ready to casually meet people for dinner and drinks on occasion, you probably have nothing to worry about. If you move directly from your marriage into another long-term serious relationship, you may want to give it a second thought, as you may not have healed yet from psychological impact that is usually inherent in divorce.

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Posted on in Divorce

dating, dating during divorce, Lombard Family Law AttorneysIf you are going through a divorce, you probably feel that your marriage was over a long time ago. The legal process of divorce may represent little more than a necessary formality so that you can get on with your life. As the proceedings continue, however, you may be inclined to begin a new romantic relationship, one in which you finally feel appreciated and empowered for the first time in quite a while. Of course, you have every right to seek happiness in your post-divorce situation, but until your divorce is finalized, it is probably a good idea to stay out of the dating scene.

Legal Considerations

From the standpoint of Illinois divorce law, there is nothing preventing you from pursuing a new relationship once the process of divorce has begun. If you choose to date, you will need be careful about what assets you may be using to fund your activities, though. Using your own money is fine, but inappropriately spending marital funds prior to the property division process may be considered dissipation, and you may be required to pay it back.

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Posted on in Divorce

AmandaWith divorce rates as high as ever in the US, the probability that you will be dating someone who has had a previous marriage is high. Relationship experts don’t see the problem with dating someone who has been divorced, but it does depend on the circumstances, according to a Chicago Tribune article. If you are only casually dating someone who has had several divorces than there should be no problem, according to Holly Parker, a professor at Harvard University. But if you are looking to be in a committed relationship than you should think more about your decision, she says.

First, she says you should consider why has this person been married three to four times. There might be some personality traits and emotional health issues that are causing the person to have more than three failed marriages. However, a New York psychiatrist, Gail Saltz, who specializes in relationships issues says, "There is no one size fits all answer, because people get married and divorced for many different reasons." But she even agrees that you should find out how their previous marriages ended and what the person learned about themselves from each of these marriages. Also, ask what they feel about future marriages, and what their relationship with their ex or exes are like.

It is important to know how the once-divorced person understands what went wrong in their previous relationships, and whether or not they discovered what the problem was. It is also normal for a person twice-divorced to say that there are issues that are not understood or resolved. But for someone who has been divorced three or four times, it is likely that they have problems choosing someone or maintaining a long-term relationship, according to Saltz. However, just because a person is a divorcee does not mean you should overlook them, it is important to understand what happened in their previous marriages to be able to move forward.

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