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Divorce is a difficult time and transition for everyone involved, but children have a different experience altogether. Children often do not understand the reasoning behind the divorce and can blame themselves for the conflict between their parents. This is most common in young children but can also happen for older ones who have experienced their parents fighting throughout their lives. One of the most confusing parts of the divorce process is the transition from living under one roof with both parents to living part-time in two separate homes. 

Moving During Divorce

Custody arrangements look different for every family. Some share equal time with both parents while others only stay with their non-custodial parent on some weekends and holidays. While there are a variety of different arrangements, a house should feel like a home regardless of the amount of time a child spends there. The following are tips to make your house more comfortable for your child:


advice, divorce lawyer, Lombard family law attorneysWhen family, friends, or coworkers learn you are about to go through a divorce, it is natural for them to want to help. Sometimes, that help comes in positive forms—a shoulder to lean on, an offer to help out with the children, or even just space to cope with the emotional baggage that often accompanies a divorce. But advice, often given with the best of intentions, may not always be helpful for a divorcing couple. In fact, sometimes divorce advice can end up doing more harm than good.

Most Common Forms of "Bad" Divorce Advice

In most instances, bad divorce advice comes from those that truly do want to help. Unfortunately, they may not fully comprehend the emotional or legal repercussions of what they are suggesting. Thankfully, it is pretty easy to spot poor divorce advice because most will involve "shortcuts" of one sort or another. Examples may include tips like:


There are many kinds of abusive relationships.  The most obvious type of domestic abuse is violent behavior like hitting, kicking and yelling.  But there are other ways that a spouse’s behavior can be covertly abusive.  Passive aggressive spouses can be just as disruptive to a marriage as outwardly abusive spouses.

Passive aggressive behavior is used to avoid conflicts, suppress feelings of anger or try to control a situation.  It is covert because it can mask emotions and feelings to a point that the person’s behavior may seem nice at times.

Since passive aggressive behavior can be hidden, it is helpful to know what the typical traits are of a passive aggressive person.  Identifying the behavior is the first step to stopping the destructive cycle of hurtful actions and words.


Posted on in Divorce

Being divorced is a difficult transition.  It is hard to move on from the life you used to know.  But there must have been some reasons that your relationship with your spouse did not work.  And now that you are single again, there are things you can change the next time around.  And if you are a parent, there is even less opportunity to mess around and take this next step lightly.

The first consideration is to make sure that you know why you’re dating in the first place.  Having a clear purpose in your new life will help you stay on track and eliminate distractions.

But always keep in mind that you are dating again to have fun.  This is not a search for lost keys, so do not make it a job.  It should be a hobby that should be spontaneous and enjoyable.  Hobbies like learning a new language, trying new sports, and other exciting activities will put you in front of new people and new connections.


Posted on in Divorce

In most divorces, there are a multitude of different concerns which must be settled. Child custody might be the focal point in some cases.  Other times, the division of assets is the pivotal concern.  Most of these issues can be tackled in two separate ways, either emotionally or rationally.  The latter is the appropriate way to think about whether or not you should keep the house in a divorce.

The first step in answering the question about keeping the house in a divorce is to examine the financial specifics of the house.  How much is still due on the mortgage?  Would you be able to make monthly payments in order to keep the house?  What about other upkeep expenses to maintain the house?

Then it is essential to understand how your personal finances will be affected by owning a house separately from your ex.  It will be beneficial to refinance the debt on your house but it might be difficult to do with only one income.  Not only will you have to settle with the bank but your spouse will need to be reimbursed for their portion of the property.  This can be accomplished in most cases by exchanging a retirement or investment account.


The life of Elizabeth Dominick, 55, is going through a lot of changes.  The wife of Cicero town president, Larry Dominick, resigned from her public office post as the director of the town’s health clinic.  At the time, she cited multiple causes for leaving this position.  She said that many of the upper echelon of town officials rarely came into work.

In her resignation letter she went to great lengths to include abuses that she received on the job.  "I can no longer remain at this capacity due to horrific mental abuse that I have had to endure for the past four years as Director," she states in the letter, dated July 9.  Now, she has made another split.

During the week of November 5th, Elizabeth filed for divorce from her husband Larry.  Again, she cited mental abuses perpetrated by her husband as the grounds for divorce, with no further details at this time.  She has also publicly claimed that her husband’s family has been a major stress on their relationship.


Posted on in Divorce

The effects of divorce on children have been studied and discussed for almost as long as divorce has been a common part of the American psyche. According to Judith Wallerstein, as reported in the Huffington Post, "divorce affects children profoundly at every age, from infancy to adulthood," and the stage at which the child is at in his life will determine his reaction to the parents’ split. As a young child, the divorcee-kid will worry that he will be replaced by one parent’s new family. According to the Huffington Post, "during adolescence they say, ‘You can hope for love but you can’t expect it.’ And when they reach young adulthood, they fear betrayal and decide no to fall in love or marry because, ‘if you don’t marry then you can’t divorce.’"

These sociological trends in children of divorced parents aren’t rocket science, but they’re important to keep in mind if you’re going through a divorce and have children. And divorce may have a deeper effect on your child than his attitude toward love and marriage: a 2011 study published by the American Sociological Review and analyzed by, found that "children of divorce tend to fall behind in their math and social skills and may not catch up with their peers." On the other hand, "divorce did not seem to affect the children’s reading scores or ‘externalizing’ behaviors, including how often they argue, fight, or become angry."

One way of helping children to cope with divorce is to treat them as an equal party in the proceedings, so to speak. Speaking candidly with your child, and not painting a rosy picture where it’s not could be best for the child’s psychological development. Social worker Robin Friedman told that "a separation may be in the best interest for the child in the long run," but presenting a united front to the child, and agreeing to answer the difficult questions in an age-appropriate manner, is crucial to helping the child deal with the trauma of a parent’s divorce.

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