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Questions to Ask Yourself Before Filing for DivorceWhether it is a long time coming or a recent revelation, divorce is difficult. Leaving someone you have been with for years is difficult regardless of the quality of your relationship due to the familiarity in having a constant presence by your side. It can be challenging for people to separate their current reality from a nostalgic past. Because filing for divorce is one of the most serious decisions you can make, it is important to be absolutely sure that this is what you want and that this is what is best for everyone. Here is a list of questions you should ask yourself before signing official documents:

  1. Have You Fully Communicated Your Concerns with Your Spouse?: As years of marriage continue on, communication can often get lost in translation. One spouse assumes that they know what the other is thinking due to past experiences. If divorce is on your mind, you should ensure that you have expressed your concerns with your spouse in order to avoid making a rash decision. Disclosing that your unhappiness has led you to consider divorce can sometimes be the wake-up call that spouses need after years of marriage.
  2. Have You Tried Counseling?: Many married couples view seeking out counseling as a weakness. While it may cost your momentary pride, marriage counseling is an effective solution for many couples. Discussing difficulties within your marriage while a third-party is present can help provide another perspective and keep emotions in check. Counseling is often seen as a last-ditch effort but can be effective for many couples.
  3. Why Do You Fear Ending Your Relationship?: One of the most common reasons for avoiding divorce is fear for the future. For some, potential loneliness keeps them from leaving. For others, their physical and financial dependency on their spouse forces them to stay. Identifying these fears is a step in the right direction to understanding why you are hesitant about filing for divorce.
  4. Am I Using My Children as an Excuse?: Couples that have children often put off divorce “for the child’s sake.” Some believe that they are actually helping their children while others use this as an excuse to avoid confrontation and life changes. Studies have proven that staying together for your children’s sake can often be more detrimental to them than getting a divorce. Children are happier when they are in a healthy and happy household. Getting a divorce may be difficult for the child to adjust to, but this is often a healthier lifestyle than living with parents who are clearly unhappy together.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney for Help

Finally making the decision to file for divorce takes lots of self-reflection and consideration of the future. This decision can sometimes take years to make. For a complete life change like divorce, it is important to have experienced attorneys on your side. If you are considering divorce, contact our Lombard, Illinois, attorneys at A. Traub & Associates at 630-426-0196.

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Lombard, IL divorce lawyer

Divorce is a difficult time and transition for everyone involved, but children have a different experience altogether. Children often do not understand the reasoning behind the divorce and can blame themselves for the conflict between their parents. This is most common in young children but can also happen for older ones who have experienced their parents fighting throughout their lives. One of the most confusing parts of the divorce process is the transition from living under one roof with both parents to living part-time in two separate homes. 

Moving During Divorce

Custody arrangements look different for every family. Some share equal time with both parents while others only stay with their non-custodial parent on some weekends and holidays. While there are a variety of different arrangements, a house should feel like a home regardless of the amount of time a child spends there. The following are tips to make your house more comfortable for your child:

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DuPage County Divorce AttorneyAccording to the American Psychological Association, more than 90 percent of individuals from Western cultures marry by the age of 50. Sadly, in the United States, 40 to 50 percent of these marriages end in divorce. However, while the nationwide average is high, not every state has such a high divorce rate. Statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau found that Illinois has some of the lowest divorce numbers in the country, with there being 9.41 divorced individuals for every 1,000 married couples in the state. Other states, such as Hawaii, New York, Vermont, and New Jersey, have similarly low divorce rates.  What common factors do these states have that causes the divorce rate to be so low?

Why the Reduced Numbers?

It can be difficult to determine what the variables in a good marriage are. Studies of these states have found that there are commonalities they all share:

  • Reduced Student Debt: A common cause of divorce is financial stress. A couple’s financial state can sometimes make or break their marriage, depending on their situation. This is especially common for couples in which one person works while the other stays at home. Large amounts of student debt can be an immediate burden added to a marriage, particularly if the working individual is using their paycheck to pay off their spouse’s debt. Many of the “top five” low divorce states had lower average amounts of student debt owed.
  • An Age Range Change: Getting married young is not as common as it once was. Unlike their parents and their grandparents, millennials are choosing to get married at an older age. This has been attributed to higher education levels and increased opportunities, especially for women. Marriages that are officiated when the individuals are older have been proven to last longer. Many of the individuals in these five states wait until closer to age 30 to tie the knot.
  • Higher Income: Similar to the first reason, less financial burden equals less conflict about monetary constraints. The Census Bureau reports reflect a correlation between high divorce rates and large numbers of people who live below the poverty line. The opportunities that are available to people with higher incomes can reduce stress for couples, thus making them happier in their marriage.
  • Fewer People are Tying the Knot: Do not let the statistics fool you; fewer overall marriages means fewer divorces. In Illinois, less than 65 percent of people are married. This may also be attributed to higher education levels and greater independence for all genders, reducing the social requirement to get married. 

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Attorney for Assistance

Illinois divorce rates may be some of the lowest in the country, but many marriages within the state do still end in divorce. It is important to seek out an experienced attorney to help you with the legal issues that must be addressed during your divorce thus allowing you to focus on the life changes you are about to experience. If you are considering filing for divorce, contact a Lombard, IL divorce attorney at 630-426-0196.

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Posted on in Divorce

Lombard, IL divorce lawyers

Whether you call it empty nest syndrome or a mid-life crisis, many couples struggle when their children leave home and they go back to their previous “empty house” lifestyle. This life change can be a tough adjustment since a parent has gotten used to having their child living under their roof for 18+ years. Spouses are used to focusing on their child’s schedule and activities. This can make an empty house feel lonely and uncomfortable, sometimes so much so that divorce enters the equation. 

What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

Although it is not technically diagnosed, the commonality of empty nest syndrome illustrates its wide-reaching effect. Feeling a strong sense of sadness and loneliness after your children have moved out is the telltale sign of empty nest syndrome. Other symptoms include a lack of identity, extreme remorse, and a lack of self-worth. This lifestyle change can lead to clinical depression and apathy toward your spouse. Many feel as if they no longer have anything in common with their spouse since they have shared their child and the duties of parenting for the past decade. Although this can create a distance between spouses, there are various coping mechanisms for those who feel their emotions may be causing conflict.

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Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County family law attorney

Seeing your child receive a college acceptance letter is a proud moment for many parents. You get to see how your parenting, your child’s education, and their hard work helped them get an opportunity to pursue higher education. This can also bring financial stress. It is no secret that college is costly, especially for divorced parents.

Can the Court Make You Pay?

The Illinois court system, like various other states, was previously allowed to require a child’s parents to contribute a certain amount of money toward their child’s college fund. There is not an exact formula for calculating each parent’s required contribution. However, the amount parents can be ordered to pay cannot exceed the amount of tuition, room, and board for that particular year at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Determining these obligations can become even more complex in the case of multiple children, and depending on which parent the children live with, it could be difficult to determine who should pay what amount.

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