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How to Keep Your Children Out of Your Divorce Conflict

 Posted on November 24, 2020 in Children of Divorce

DuPage County divorce attorney

Psychological research shows that when children are exposed to high levels of conflict between their parents, they may suffer from many long-lasting effects, including an increased risk of anxiety and depression. When you are in the midst of a divorce, it can be hard to shield your children from conflict entirely, but the more that you are able to do so, the better the position your children will be in to cope with the divorce and recover from the emotional trauma that it brings.

Protecting Your Kids from the Negative Effects of Conflict

The following suggestions can help you mitigate the effects of conflict on your children both during and after the divorce process:

  • Avoid arguing with the other parent in front of them. Heated verbal, and especially physical, arguments with your spouse are never productive, and they can be especially damaging when your children are present. Consider alternative means of communication like phone or email if you cannot stay calm during face-to-face interactions and if you do need to blow off steam, do it when your kids are not around.

  • Do not encourage them to take sides. Talking badly about the other parent, asking your children to deliver messages to the other parent, and encouraging your children to view you as the favorite parent are all behaviors that put your kids under serious stress and pressure, and they can damage their relationships with both parents.

  • Try low-conflict divorce resolution methods. It can be especially difficult to keep your children away from conflict if you have to resort to a long, public divorce trial. Whenever possible, you should consider more amicable, cooperative methods of resolving your divorce, including negotiation and mediation.

  • Prioritize their interests. If you and the other parent can both commit to prioritizing your children’s interests over your own, you may be better able to find common ground throughout the divorce process and prevent discussions from devolving into arguments.

  • Create a parenting plan that works for everyone. You and your ex-spouse will both likely continue to be involved in your children’s lives long after your divorce, so it is important to try to work together to reach an agreement on parenting time and parental responsibilities that both of you will be able to follow and that will not lead to future resentment.

Contact a Lombard, IL Family Law Attorney

At A. Traub & Associates, we know how important it is for parents to make it through the divorce process without hurting their children. We will help you resolve your divorce in a way that protects your children’s interests first and foremost, and helps you avoid damaging conflict with your spouse. Contact an experienced and compassionate DuPage County divorce lawyer today at 630-426-0196 to schedule your private consultation.




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