In this day and age, divorce is no longer the exclusive province of family law courts. Many couples, especially if they enjoy a fairly civil relationship, choose alternative dispute resolution methods to achieve their objectives. Couples who use such methods are often driven by a willingness to move their case forward faster than would possible in court. If this avenue appeals to you, Illinois law provides several different options.

Mediation

Divorce mediation is not for everyone. In fact, it is definitively not appropriate for spouses who will not or cannot maintain a civil relationship. If, however, you and your spouse are able to talk and be in the same room, mediation could be an option. While most mediators undergo specialized training, they are not necessarily required to be licensed by any governing body or accreditation entity. This reality can sometimes be a deterrent for those who fear that something may go wrong. However, Illinois does have a Uniform Mediation Act, which sets out requirements and prohibitions that must be followed.

Divorce is typically a time of increased stress and emotions for the couple splitting. When we are emotionally wounded, we have a tendency to lash out against the person who caused the damage. Some events that happen throughout the course of a divorce have the proclivity to leave lasting emotional wounds to those involved. As adults, we have a better understanding of what is happening and why, but when children are involved, the situation changes. The impact of what happens during a divorce could last for decades or even a lifetime. Many divorcing spouses now seek alternative solutions as a means of protecting their children. One such method is mediation.

What is Mediation?

Even after years of marriage, it is possible just to realize that this is not what you truly want for your life. You and your spouse may have irreconcilable differences, and you just do not “mesh” well together anymore. That is absolutely okay and it does not make either of you any a bad or unlovable person. For situations such as these and others in which the splitting pair are able to maintain a civil relationship, mediation is a viable alternative to traditional divorce proceedings. Instead of heading straight to a courtroom armed with your own personal attorney, divorce mediation allows an opportunity for spouses to come together in a private location with a neutral third party—a mediator—and settle the divorce on their own terms.

Often when people hear the term mediation in the realm of divorce, they automatically think of the tense arguments and conflicts that typically surround the end of a marriage. While disagreements can certainly turn ugly in the midst of divorce, many marriages actually end civilly and peacefully, with minimal conflict between spouses.

However, for those who are having a difficult time seeing eye to eye on certain issues, tension can arise and the challenge to come to a settlement can create a very bumpy transition for the entire family. This is where divorce mediation in family law comes in. Mediation has a number of advantages, but it is particularly helpful in a number of ways.

Better Communication

A litigated divorce can be extremely stressful, time-consuming, and, in many cases, rather expensive. As an alternative, many couples are able to reach a reasonable divorce agreement through the process of mediation, meeting with a third party facilitator to work out their differences on the all of the pertinent issues. While it can be a very useful tool, there are certain situations in which mediation may not be appropriate. In these cases, litigation may provide the only option for an equitable divorce settlement.

Potentially Less Accountability

Mediation is, at its core, a negotiation process, which means that the parties often begin at extreme opposite ends of a particular issue and work their way toward compromise somewhere in the middle. Complex divorce cases—especially those involving one or both spouses with high net-worth—typically require complicated evaluations of business interests and real estate holdings. These evaluations may be artificially inflated in a mediated divorce case, with the implication that they are merely a starting point for the negotiation. This can be dangerous if one party lacks the appropriate knowledge to properly challenge the valuation or does not have the opportunity to cross-examine the expert who prepared it.

Mediation is an important part of family law in Illinois. In cases involving children, other than child support issues, mediation is often mandatory. Mediation is also commonly used to settle other kinds of family law disputes including property division and spousal maintenance, also known as alimony, in divorce cases.

Purpose of Mediation

The idea of winning at mediation seems strange to many. The entire purpose of mediation is to encourage two sides to settle their differences with the help of a neutral third party instead of going all the way through the court process.