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Signs of Emotional Abuse in Your Relationship

Posted on February 09, 2016 in Divorce

abuse, Arlington Heights divorce attorneyIf you have been or are in an emotionally abusive relationship, it can be difficult to pinpoint the actual issues. Victims often feel brainwashed in emotionally abusive relationships, because they are unable to specifically target the lies that they have been told and have become conditioned to believe about themselves and the world around them by their partners.

Control and Manipulation

Unlike physical abuse, which has very tangible, nearly universally-recognized symptoms and signs, emotional abuse is much subtler, and can, in some cases, even be tolerated in certain portrayals of relationships in popular culture. In many cases of psychological or emotional abuse, the perpetrator controls the victim through manipulation—this often manifests through tangible outlets such as a person’s bank account or social behavior. This type of behavior can take a serious toll on a person’s self esteem and overall psychological well-being.

Seeing the Signs

There are several warning signs that a person can look for in a relationship that may be psychologically abusive, and they are not all readily apparent. One example of such abuse can be found in a person who follows affirmations of "I love you" with "but…" This type of conditional affirmation causes the victim to live in a state of fear that the love will be taken away at any moment. It is also common for an emotional abuser to give small gifts or tangible tokens of affection so that the he or she can turn to those as (misplaced) examples of affection. This results in the victim feeling as if she no longer has a case against the myriad examples of bad treatment.

Possible Manifestations

Emotional abuse has many forms. It can come in private moments in the relationship itself (such as put-downs, extramarital affairs, refusal to communicate, withdrawal of affection); or in social moments (moodiness, forced isolation from friends/family, obsessive texting or calling when you are not together). Many emotional abusers are extremely attentive and kind in public, and then turn only in private, which can add to the confusion and manipulation of the victim.

No person deserves to be in a relationship in which they do not feel safe. If you or someone you know is considering divorce because of an emotionally abusive relationship, the most important step is to seek the advice of an experienced Arlington Heights family law attorney. At A. Traub & Associates, we are prepared to provide the help and guidance you need to create a better future for yourself and your children. Schedule your confidential consultation today.


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