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Posted on in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneysSubstance abuse and addiction problems have touched most people’s lives one way or another. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 21.5 million teens and adults fought a substance use disorder in the United States in 2014. If you have ever been close to someone struggling with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you know that the addiction can become all-consuming. Addicts can end up losing their jobs, resort to criminal activity, and be estranged from those who love them. Others with addiction issues seek professional help and are able to overcome the dependence. If you are married to someone with substance abuse issues, you know the toll those issues can take on the family.

Sometimes, a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol becomes a danger to themselves or those in his or her household. How much should a spouse tolerate before they end the marriage? Every relationship is different and only the people in it know what is right for them. However, if you are married to an addict, there are a few things worth keeping in mind.

Is Your Partner Willing to Get Help?


 addictionAccording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the divorce rate is improving slightly. Only 40 percent of all today’s American couples will seek a divorce attorney rather than 50 percent in the 1980s.

 So why is so difficult for Americans to hold it together? It could be one of these five  reasons:

  1. Friend or family issues;
  2. Sexual dissatisfaction;
  3. Addiction problems;
  4. Financial woes;
  5. The breakdown of communication.

Compulsive gambling can be as devastating to a marriage as alcoholism or infidelity. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) defines compulsive gambling as an impulse control disorder. For any family dealing with a family member afflicted by any addiction, daily life can be a struggle. The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that divorce rates among compulsive gamblers are more than double those who only gamble on occasion. If you suspect that your spouse is battling a gambling addiction, review these warning signs and either suggest that your loved one reach out for professional assistance or contact an experienced divorce attorney:  Employment Issues Most pathological gamblers experience problems not only maintaining a job, but with theft on the job. Does your spouse experience lulls in full-time, sustainable employment? Have there been issues of work-related theft or repayment of loans to co-workers?  White-Collar Crime More than half of proclaimed professional gamblers have admitted to forgery, identity theft, tax evasion and fraud. If you and your spouse are dealing with an IRS audit or fielding general questions from a local authority, this may be a tip as to the severity of the problem.  Financial Folly Does your spouse mention bankruptcy as a means to solve financial problems? Have you started hiding the checkbook, credit cards or cash?  Depression Statistically three-fourths of all problem gamblers suffer from depression. Have you noticed a change in your spouse's mood? Have you spent time worrying about the mental health of your spouse? Do he or she only express happiness when they had a good day at the track?  Domestic Violence As with all marriages, living with an addiction can be devastating. Verbal and physical abuse often increases by 50 percent in a home where gambling is a family secret. Have you noticed an increase in physical or verbal abuse from your spouse?  Family Facts The impact on your kids can also be damaging. Have you noticed a change in how your spouse relates to them?Is he or she have a short-fuse or have occasional bursts of anger? Take note, children influenced by a person addicted to gambling may also roll the dice later in life.  Suicide If you think suicide is a possibility, it may be time to reach out for professional help. The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that 20 percent of problem gamblers have attempted suicide.  Divorce Addiction can take it toll on your marriage. If you feel that your spouse would be open to seeking professional help, discuss it openly, bring the family secret to the forefront and fight. If you're considering divorce, contacting an experienced family law attorney may be your best bet. You have been dealt a difficult hand. By placing a call to A. Traub & Associates at 630-425-0196 our dedicated team of experienced divorce attorneys will listen to your issues, keep you informed and work diligently to bring the matter to as swift a resolution as possible. We are here to help you beat the odds.

Posted on in Divorce

Marriage and Family Therapist Virginia Gilbert says that there are many symptoms of PTSD that affect divorcing and divorced individuals. An afflicted person might have health issues, nightmares, obsessive thoughts, and generalized anxiety that presents as hyper vigilance. When there is extra tension or a history of violence in your relationship, it’s not uncommon for the emotional stress to manifest physically.

Gilbert has tips for those in these types of situations. She states that it’s vital to focus on what you can control. If your ex is abusive, struggling with an alcohol or drug addiction, or mentally ill, you can create high levels of anxiety by worrying constantly about what he or she might do. Instead, focus on the fact that your choice to get a divorce is what is best for you, and keep reminding yourself about what’s in your realm of control and what is not.

Getting support from others and compartmentalizing your life can help significantly when handling these challenges. In high-conflict situations, it’s easy to let the divorce become the primary aspect of your life, but force yourself to add other activities and downtime to your schedule. It’s not healthy for you emotionally or physically to become consumed by the divorce. Choose one or two friends that you can speak to and rely on them when things reach fever pitch. Find a meditation technique or exercise that helps you clear your mind, as interacting with the spouse can tend to flare anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

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