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According to the American Psychological Association (APA), data from the National Survey of Family Growth shows that 48 percent of marriages end when they hit the 20-year mark. Despite this evidence and the colorful divorce horror stories we all hear from our friends, family members, and neighbors, the reality is that not all couples who make up these kinds of statistics experience a toxic divorce. Many spouses are not only able to make a mutual decision to end their marriage, but they are also capable of navigating the process amicably, even acting as a team to ensure a smoother experience for everyone involved. 

Avoiding a Contested Divorce

Not every divorce is messy, but those that are can have the power to wreak havoc on your emotional -- and sometimes physical -- well-being, especially if you do not know how to handle the conflict.


What are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation?Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution that works for many couples seeking to end their marriage but wanting to skip the typical divorce proceedings. This type of alternative resolution becomes somewhat of a conversation between the spouses and a mediator. After the mediator explains the process, they will act as a neutral third-party. The session will typically last a few hours as a group, followed by the mediator meeting with each party individually to speak with them. This will allow the spouse to tell them anything they feel that they left out or any information that they felt uncomfortable sharing with their spouse in the room. 

A second session will be scheduled to make final decisions. Issues discussed are uniform to that of a divorce; however, there are supposed to be little to no arguments done in the mediation process. The allocation of parental responsibilities, child support, division of assets, and spousal maintenance are the main topics that are deliberated. The mediator will then draw up the plans based on the conversation between the spouses that lays out their divorce in front of them.  

Advantages of Mediation

Divorce mediation requires an amicable relationship between both spouses as the purpose of the alternative dispute resolution is to avoid conflict. While it does not work for all couples, many prefer mediation over typical divorce proceedings for a variety of reasons.


Posted on in Mediation

Lombard family law attorneysIn this day and age, divorce is no longer the exclusive province of family law courts. Many couples, especially if they enjoy a fairly civil relationship, choose alternative dispute resolution methods to achieve their objectives. Couples who use such methods are often driven by a willingness to move their case forward faster than would possible in court. If this avenue appeals to you, Illinois law provides several different options.


Divorce mediation is not for everyone. In fact, it is definitively not appropriate for spouses who will not or cannot maintain a civil relationship. If, however, you and your spouse are able to talk and be in the same room, mediation could be an option. While most mediators undergo specialized training, they are not necessarily required to be licensed by any governing body or accreditation entity. This reality can sometimes be a deterrent for those who fear that something may go wrong. However, Illinois does have a Uniform Mediation Act, which sets out requirements and prohibitions that must be followed.


Lombard mediation attorneysDivorce is typically a time of increased stress and emotions for the couple splitting. When we are emotionally wounded, we have a tendency to lash out against the person who caused the damage. Some events that happen throughout the course of a divorce have the proclivity to leave lasting emotional wounds to those involved. As adults, we have a better understanding of what is happening and why, but when children are involved, the situation changes. The impact of what happens during a divorce could last for decades or even a lifetime. Many divorcing spouses now seek alternative solutions as a means of protecting their children. One such method is mediation.

What is Mediation?

Even after years of marriage, it is possible just to realize that this is not what you truly want for your life. You and your spouse may have irreconcilable differences, and you just do not “mesh” well together anymore. That is absolutely okay and it does not make either of you any a bad or unlovable person. For situations such as these and others in which the splitting pair are able to maintain a civil relationship, mediation is a viable alternative to traditional divorce proceedings. Instead of heading straight to a courtroom armed with your own personal attorney, divorce mediation allows an opportunity for spouses to come together in a private location with a neutral third party—a mediator—and settle the divorce on their own terms.


Lombard divorce lawyersOften when people hear the term mediation in the realm of divorce, they automatically think of the tense arguments and conflicts that typically surround the end of a marriage. While disagreements can certainly turn ugly in the midst of divorce, many marriages actually end civilly and peacefully, with minimal conflict between spouses.

However, for those who are having a difficult time seeing eye to eye on certain issues, tension can arise and the challenge to come to a settlement can create a very bumpy transition for the entire family. This is where divorce mediation in family law comes in. Mediation has a number of advantages, but it is particularly helpful in a number of ways.

Better Communication


Posted on in Mediation

mediation, Illinois divorce, Lombard family lawyerA litigated divorce can be extremely stressful, time-consuming, and, in many cases, rather expensive. As an alternative, many couples are able to reach a reasonable divorce agreement through the process of mediation, meeting with a third party facilitator to work out their differences on the all of the pertinent issues. While it can be a very useful tool, there are certain situations in which mediation may not be appropriate. In these cases, litigation may provide the only option for an equitable divorce settlement.

Potentially Less Accountability

Mediation is, at its core, a negotiation process, which means that the parties often begin at extreme opposite ends of a particular issue and work their way toward compromise somewhere in the middle. Complex divorce cases—especially those involving one or both spouses with high net-worth—typically require complicated evaluations of business interests and real estate holdings. These evaluations may be artificially inflated in a mediated divorce case, with the implication that they are merely a starting point for the negotiation. This can be dangerous if one party lacks the appropriate knowledge to properly challenge the valuation or does not have the opportunity to cross-examine the expert who prepared it.


Posted on in Mediation

mediation, Illinois family law attorneyMediation is an important part of family law in Illinois. In cases involving children, other than child support issues, mediation is often mandatory. Mediation is also commonly used to settle other kinds of family law disputes including property division and spousal maintenance, also known as alimony, in divorce cases.

Purpose of Mediation

The idea of winning at mediation seems strange to many. The entire purpose of mediation is to encourage two sides to settle their differences with the help of a neutral third party instead of going all the way through the court process.


Posted on in Divorce

divorce, type of divorce, Arlington Heights family law attorneyWhen you have reached the point in your marriage where you know that it is over, you need to begin thinking about the right way to divorce. Most couples will have several options, depending upon their ability to communicate and cooperate with one another. The type of divorce you choose may also be affected by the complexity of your situation, including concerns for children, diverse business interests, or if you and your spouse enjoy a high net-worth. No matter which route you take, the end goal should be same: an equitable divorce judgment that allows each party to experience a positive post-divorce reality.

1. Do-It-Yourself Divorce

There is almost never a good reason to try to handle your divorce on your own, despite being technically possible. Many Internet resources offer advice on how to save money by representing yourself in the process of a simple divorce, but even the simplest of cases often have unexpected obstacles. What you think you are saving in the moment may end up costing you significantly, since, without an attorney, there is nobody to keep you from making an expensive mistake.


Posted on in Mediation

mediator, mediation, Illinois divorce lawyersWhile deciding to end a marriage is never easy, some situations are certainly more difficult than others. Couples who are able to work together through the divorce process, however, often find that doing so leads to much more manageable stress levels and reduced difficulty in coming to a workable divorce agreement. Mediation, for many such couples, offers the opportunity to minimize the challenges of divorce while promoting a cooperative spirit that may last long after the divorce is finalized.

Is Mediation Your Best Option?

Before you and your spouse begin looking for a mediator to help you through the divorce process, you must first understand what your needs are. Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution method and is generally of value only to cooperative couples with unresolved issues in their divorce. If you and your spouse have already come to an agreement on most of the inherent details, it is possible that you would be better served by a divorce attorney who can help you file the necessary paperwork. However, if you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement regarding important concerns, a mediator may be able help you do so.


mediation, divorce mediation, Kane County Family LawyerDespite being rather commonplace in today’s society, divorce can be a very messy process. The large number of arrangements to be made combined with the emotional reaction to an ending relationship can be a substantial burden for any couple to bear. The result, unfortunately, can be a stressful and bitter litigation, leading to months of fighting and increasing court costs and attorneys’ fees. Couples who are able to cooperate well enough with each other, however, may have an alternative to costly and contentious litigation in the form of divorce mediation.

Divorce Mediation Basics

Mediation is a type of dispute resolution frequently used in many contract negotiations, and may be very applicable to a divorce proceeding. It involves each spouse agreeing to work together with a neutral third party, called a mediator, to negotiate the terms of their divorce agreement. While more complex divorce cases may require services of separate attorneys, individual legal counsel is often not necessary in mediation, allowing the divorcing couple to realize substantial savings.


Posted on in Divorce
divorce mediationWhen your family is in transition, you need to find a way to bring matters to a conclusion and move on to the next chapter of your life. That is not always easy to do in a divorce or child custody case because there is so much emotion involved and, even for couples who stay together, child rearing issues never really go away. An experienced family law mediator can step in and help. Before we get to the heart of the matter, there is an important preliminary issue. It is very important to seek out an attorney-mediator who is certified in family law. Some other professionals may not understand all the financial, emotional and legal questions involved in Illinois family law matters.


Divorce is expensive. One oft-quoted statistic is that the average divorce costs $15,000. Although the number of extremely costly divorces in America may artificially drive up the average, one thing is certain: divorce is always more expensive than you had originally anticipated. Mediation reduces legal fees. Rather than spending months preparing for a three- or four-day trial, attorneys may spend a few days preparing for a mediation that lasts a few hours. Generally speaking, there is also less pretrial discovery, which means fewer hours that the lawyer must bill on the case.


Court hearings take place in a highly-charged emotional atmosphere. The opposing parties often sit only a few feet away from each other, and events occur in rapid-fire succession. Conversely, most mediations occur in a cluster of conference rooms in an office building where the atmosphere is quite informal. After the parties make their opening statements, they generally retire to separate rooms where there are long moments of inactivity which act as "cooling-off" periods. The parties are more focused on getting things done, and there is very little emotional drama.


Mediation increases compliance. Parties are more likely to follow a mediation order as opposed to one that was handed down by the judge. You may tell your son to clean his room, and maybe he will. But if your son decides for himself that his room is dirty, he’s more likely to clean it. This effect is magnified if, as is often the case, one person has control issues or problems submitting to authority. Mediation does not work in all cases, but it is nearly always worth a try. For a consultation with our experienced Arlington Heights family law attorneys, contact A. Traub and Associates at (847) 749-4182.

A divorce can be accomplished in a number of different ways.  There is the process of mediation which lets the couple work with an unbiased third party who elicits an agreeable solution.  There is also a collaborative divorce option, which allows each party to employ a lawyer who assists in negotiating a final divorce agreement.

These amicable processes can offer a lot of benefits that are not available to those who resort to litigation.  The most practical benefits are the money and time that can be saved by avoiding the courtroom.  The paperwork and meetings and other processes can be shortened and scheduled to fit each spouse’s schedules.  It also protects children from being forced to see their parents fight.  Instead of fighting, the spouses can come together to make a workable and enforceable solution to difficult topics like custody, spousal support, and the division of property.

The other option for creating a divorce agreement is by litigating or carrying out a lawsuit.  One spouse will file a petition for divorce which might not be the wish of the other spouse.  As such, it is more of an adversarial process that can be more stressful and costly.  Yet, divorce cases that begin in litigation are commonly settled out of court.  Even given the many benefits of amicable processes, there are scenarios were it is more appropriate to litigate.


Posted on in Divorce
ChristineIf you and your spouse are considering divorce, mediation can be a less expensive and possibly easier solution than a trial or a series of hearings. Mediation takes place while a couple is still married, and the goal is to work through issues in the marriage and to agree on things like division of property, child and spousal support, and custody. Mediation is when the couple, either with or without their attorneys, meet with a mediator. The mediator doesn't make decisions for the couple, but facilitates a healthy discussion. There are many benefits to going through mediation rather than the courts. First of all, mediation allows those involved to come to their own decisions, rather than having the judge make decisions on custody, alimony, child support, and property division. This also gives the couple more control, and allows for an attorney to be present. Mediation may help improve communication between the spouses, which can help in the future if there are children. Mediation is private and records are confidential, so unlike court records, the public does not have access to details. To make the mediation a successful venture for both parties, spouses need to be willing to compromise and work through the issues. Don't say no to mediation without discussing the option with your attorney. Knowing that the odds of a mediation agreement will have a better likelihood of being followed through then a trial should encourage you. Contact an Illinois divorce lawyer who is experienced in mediation.

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