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3 Tips for Handling a Contested Divorce in Illinois

 Posted on October 08, 2019 in Divorce

DuPage County family law and divorce attorney

When it comes to the end of a marriage, there may be no such thing as an easy divorce. Even couples who remain civil and separate amicably do not escape the end of the relationship without experiencing hurt and pain. Having to let go of someone you loved, possibly still love, and shared a home and a life with can be irrevocably damaging, regardless of the circumstances. Still, some divorces are flat-out toxic from start to finish and result in ongoing conflict and heated legal battles. A contentious divorce is undeniably the most taxing kind, as it takes a toll on the whole family mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Minimizing Divorce Stress 

Spouses can disagree about nearly everything in a contested divorce case, from the division of assets and debts, to spousal maintenance (alimony), to child support and parenting time. If you find yourself in high-conflict divorce and cannot manage to find middle ground on any topic, you may not be able to change the relationship dynamic, but you do have some power over how you handle the inevitable stresses of the divorce process. Psychology experts recommend the following activities to lighten your burden during this difficult transition:

  1. Make fun a priority - It is hard to imagine having fun in the midst of divorce turmoil, but experts tell us that laughter is not only good for our mental health, it is an essential part of giving our minds a much-needed break from the constant stressors we face in a contentious divorce. Carve out time to do something you enjoy that makes you laugh and smile, no matter how simple the activity may be. 

  2. Do not neglect self-care - Similar to making fun a priority in your life, other basic self-care practices such as exercising, getting enough sleep, and eating well are all forms of self-nourishment that psychologists tell us we should not neglect throughout divorce proceedings. Neglecting self-care is very easy to do, however, especially when you have children. Parents with children often put the needs of their kids first and leave very little time for themselves, particularly when children are reeling from the emotional impact of the separation. Experts emphasize that the key to proper self-care is to remain consistent with whatever you do, so you are able to fully recharge and, in turn, nourish your children and others who depend on you on a daily basis.

  3. Discover self-soothing techniques that work for you - Regardless of whether it is meditation, a hot bath, or curling up on the sofa once a week with take-out and your favorite movie, identify and create rituals that calm you down and allow you to relax. Physical and mental health are intertwined, and the more you relax physically, the more serenity you will experience in mind and spirit. Experts recommend pampering yourself with spa days and massages. If you cannot afford such luxuries, simple walks around a peaceful setting or quiet prayer or meditation time in the park can offer equally healing effects.

Contact a Wheaton Divorce Attorney

A contentious divorce is a daunting experience, but you can reduce your stress by taking care of your mental and physical health. It is also imperative to seek guidance with the legal disputes that further deplete you of energy. A skilled, knowledgeable DuPage County family law and divorce lawyer can help protect your rights in your contested divorce case, so you can focus on taking care of yourself and your family. Call A. Traub & Associates today at 630-426-0196 to schedule your consultation.




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