How to Transition into Two Homes During Divorce

 Posted on April 29, 2019 in Divorce

Divorce is a difficult time and transition for everyone involved, but children have a different experience altogether. Children often do not understand the reasoning behind the divorce and can blame themselves for the conflict between their parents. This is most common in young children but can also happen for older ones who have experienced their parents fighting throughout their lives. One of the most confusing parts of the divorce process is the transition from living under one roof with both parents to living part-time in two separate homes. 

Moving During Divorce

Custody arrangements look different for every family. Some share equal time with both parents while others only stay with their non-custodial parent on some weekends and holidays. While there are a variety of different arrangements, a house should feel like a home regardless of the amount of time a child spends there. The following are tips to make your house more comfortable for your child:

Listen to Your Child’s Input: Some parents will move to a new house and fail to take into account what their child would like. Allowing your child to decorate their own room helps them take ownership of the new space. This can help make a strange space feel like home by customizing what is within its walls.

Do Not Compete: Many parents will try and compete for their child’s affection and approval once they get divorced. This is problematic because it puts the child in an uncomfortable place and can make them feel even more divided after the divorce. The type of house that you have does not matter as much as the memories you plan to build within it.

Keep the Necessities: Transporting belongings from house to house can make a child feel as if they do not have a true home. By having necessary clothes, a toothbrush, and other items at both homes, they will begin to feel as if they have two homes.

Have Two Calendars: Calendars are a good visual way to inform you and your child about your schedules. While your parenting schedule may become natural and less structured, it is important to have information about your parenting time and your former spouse’s. This helps you acknowledge that you are a part of your child’s life whether or not it is your day to parent.

Create Common Rules: The best way to ensure parenting remains the same across the board is to have common rules in both households. Varying standards can give a child the perception that there is lackadaisical parenting on one end and stringent rules on another. 

Contact a DuPage County Child Custody Attorney for Help

Child custody arrangements are difficult for parents to get used to since the meaning of shared parenting changes significantly when you live in separate houses. Determining who will have a child and when is made easier by an attorney who can help create a successful plan. If you have children and are considering divorce, contact our experienced Lombard, IL attorneys for the allocation of parenting responsibilities at 630-426-0196 for a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/coping/making-a-child-comfortable-in-two-homes/