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children of divorce, Lombard, Illinois, divorce attorney, family lawyer in IllinoisYou are thinking of meeting with a divorce attorney and wonder what impact your decision will have on your children. You understand the tension and uneasiness blanketing the house may soon dissipate and you and the kids can settle into a more harmonic routine. You worry a bit about how the kids will handle the absence of their other parent, but take some comfort in their resiliently. You are not expecting any changes in their behavior as all things fall into place.

Researchers, Daniel S. Shaw and Erin M. Ingoldsby of the University of Pittsburgh disagree. These colleagues have researched the conceptualizations of the impact of divorce on children and how they tend to adjust to the overall situation. By highlighting sections of their Children of Divorce you may gain a better understanding of the behaviors on the horizon as your children adjust to the new family dynamics. Externalization Problems

This is the most consistent finding when it comes to how a child may process the situation and brings to the surface personal difficulties with delinquency, aggression and disobedience.

Internalization Problems

Although this is less compelling than the evidence of externalization issues, research suggests difficulties are more common in girls than their male counterparts. Female children of divorce are more likely to experience depression, anxiety and personal feelings of distress.

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Posted on in Divorce

military divorce, divorce lawyer, reason for divorce, Illinois attorneyMilitary life can be difficult, particularly during wartime. As couples are forced to spend time apart and deal with the stresses that deployments present in addition to normal marriage challenges, it can sometimes strain a marriage to the point of divorce.

According to a recent RAND Corporation study, the divorce rate among military families increases directly in relation to the length of the deployment. Researchers found that more cumulative months of deployment increased the risk of divorce among couples, particularly for female service members. Though it is believed this may be because cumulative deployment is harder to adjust to in couples where the service member is female, this was not specifically addressed by the study. While any deployment increased the risk of divorce in military families, deployments to war zones in Iraq and Afghanistan resulted in a higher rate of divorce than those deployed elsewhere. The divorce rate was also higher for couples married before the terror attacks on September 11, 2001. Those couples were 28 percent more likely to divorce than military couples who married after the attacks. Researchers believe this may have been because couples married after 9/11 were more prepared for the challenges posed by military life than those who were married earlier. Interestingly, the risk for divorce is lower among military families that had children. Military life is not easy under any circumstances, but deployments into a war zone can be incredibly stressful. Unfortunately, sometimes a marriage cannot be saved no matter how hard both parties try. If you are considering filing for divorce, having a qualified attorney on your side can help. Contact the experienced family law attorneys at A. Traub & Associates, Attorneys at Law today. They can help ensure that the divorce process goes as smoothly as possible for you and your family.

American divorce rateBy sampling our social group or shaking the family tree, we can easily make the assumption that divorce is as common as marriage. Seems we can not always have one without the other.

 As published by nationalaffairs.com, a quarterly online journal of topical essays highlighting domestic policy and societal issues, only 20 percent of couples married throughout the 1950s filed for divorce. A sharp contrast to the divorce rate of 50 percent for all couples jumping the broom between 1960 up through the end of the 1980s. Did they know something that we may have lost in translation? Did Mr. and Mrs. "C" find the true secret of Happy Days? Perhaps a journey back to our future can shed some light as to why divorce may not be as strong as an institution today as it once was. Plain and simple. It was a different era for both men and women. Divorce found no comfort in the family home. Men succumbed to peer pressure. A stand up guy included a Missus and a growing family. Everyone expected it of him, his boss, his neighbors and his family. By an early age he had it all. For his bride, her trip down the aisle also began quite early, quickly accepting the role as the matriarch of the all American post war family. The housing market was also booming. Home ownership of a two parent home was on every young married couple's agenda. Families communicated daily at the dinner table and with only one television in the home, often spent the early evening hours watching Ozzie and Harriet. All was well with their world. Perhaps not entirely true. Couples experienced the same summer of discontent as married couples do today. So why the low divorce rate? Once again, peer pressure was influential. You stayed married till death do you part. Divorce carried a social stigma and unless you were married to Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde, you stayed for better or worse. End of story, end of an era. If you find yourself conflicted about filing for divorce and disappointing your Baby Boomer parents, take a moment and remember it is your marriage, your divorce, your time. We are not your parent's attorneys. At A. Traub & Associates we are a different type of law firm. We apply a human approach to each case but will work diligently to reach a resolution to your divorce concerns swiftly and professionally. If you reside in DuPage, Cook, Kane or Will Counties, contact us at 630-426-0196 and let us help bring your future into today's prospective.

Posted on in Divorce

In any relationship, there can be ups and downs.  Being in close proximity, such as in a marriage, can exacerbate a volatile situation.  It is difficult to seek a resolution in the heat of the moment.  Certain scenarios may mean that separation is merely a precursor to finalizing a divorce or it can be a start to reconciliation.

There are different types of separation, each of which has specific ramifications.  The first type is just living separately.  Living apart can mean in different houses or even separate parts of the mutual home.  Debts and assets accrued by either party during this kind of separation are considered part of the marital estate.  During a divorce all property and debts are divided according to equitable distribution guidelines of Illinois divorce court.  This can also be seen as a trial separation to decide whether to reconcile or separate completely.

Another kind of separation is called a legal separation.  This is for couples who have irreconcilable differences but may not want to divorce for religious reasons.  A legal separation is filed for in a divorce court.  The court will decide on issues like child custody, child support, spousal maintenance, visitation and division of property.  The only aspect that a legal separation does not achieve is a divorce.  Both spouses are still married.

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Posted on in Children

The idea of both you and your spouse dying before your young children become adults may seem unfathomable.  Every day, however, illness or accidents leave children without a parent.  If you have not chosen a guardian, the courts would determine guardianship.  The courts may not choose the person you would have chosen.  Do not risk this scenario.  Using guidelines and proper legal counsel can make the decision easier.

Who Do I Choose?

Choosing a family member may seem like the natural choice but it may not always be the right choice. You should weigh the suitability of your family members as you would any potential guardian.  Here are some things to consider when determining a potential guardian:

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As prenuptial agreements become more and more popular, many married people may be thinking that they wish they could have a prenup. But it’s not too late; a prenuptial agreement created after a couple is married is called a postnuptial agreement, but is, essentially, the same as a prenup.

People who choose to enter into a postnuptial or postmarital agreement do so for many reasons. One reason is if one spouse creates a business, the business partners may ask the spouse to sign and agree not to make a claim on the business should the other pass away or if they become separated. This will prevent a fight over the company from occurring if the couple divorces, and prevent a fight between the business partners and spouse if the spouse who took part in the business passes away.

Spouses may also choose to sign a postnuptial agreement if they have separate properties, which they use to buy a joint property. The agreement will ensure that the spouse with the separate property will still get the same benefits that he or she would have if the properties had stayed separate rather than purchasing joint property.

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Posted on in Divorce

Being divorced is a difficult transition.  It is hard to move on from the life you used to know.  But there must have been some reasons that your relationship with your spouse did not work.  And now that you are single again, there are things you can change the next time around.  And if you are a parent, there is even less opportunity to mess around and take this next step lightly.

The first consideration is to make sure that you know why you’re dating in the first place.  Having a clear purpose in your new life will help you stay on track and eliminate distractions.

But always keep in mind that you are dating again to have fun.  This is not a search for lost keys, so do not make it a job.  It should be a hobby that should be spontaneous and enjoyable.  Hobbies like learning a new language, trying new sports, and other exciting activities will put you in front of new people and new connections.

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Posted on in Divorce
Although child custody cases come about because of issues that arise with the parents, the most important thing in the case is still the child. Every step taken by the courts is taken according to what the courts believe is in the best interests of the child. Even after a custody arrangement has been decided by the court, though, changes may still occur. LucyIt is possible that a child may decide that he or she wants to live with the other parent. However, this is not enough of a reason for the custody to be rearranged. In order the change the custody, the court must be shown that doing so is better for the welfare of the child. Often times, showing that the child is not doing well with his or her current custodial parent is enough to switch the custody. Another situation that may bring about a custodial change is if the custodial parents dies or is sent to prison. If a death occurs, usually the other parent will automatically get custody. If the custodial parent is incarcerated he or she cannot interfere with the other parent getting custody of the child, but he or she can make emergency temporary arrangements for the care of the child. In either case, of both death and incarceration, the other parent will most likely get custody. Another factor that may change the custody of a child is if a custodial parent behaves inappropriately in a way that affects the well-being of the child. If anything that the parent does affects his or her relationship with the child, that is also a reason for a change in the custody agreement. If you have reason to believe that your child could benefit from a different custody arrangement, contact a Lombard family law attorney for assistance. Angel Traub and Associates in Lombard, Ill. can help you fight for the custody of your child today.

Photo courtesy of Vlado/FreeDigitalPhotos.com

The issue with any fight is that there isn&t always a clear end or a clear winner.  While divorce doesn&t have to be a battle, going to court may create one.  The following is things you may expect if you decide to forgo mediation and decide on carrying out a lawsuit to gain dissolution to your marriage.

The first thing you can expect is for a litigious divorce to take a while.  There is no arbitrary time limit that dictates how long a divorce can be in court.  It can take anywhere from months to years to differing degrees of annoyance.

The second is that the litigation may end up being quite costly.  Lawyer fees will generally mount as couples find it impossible to agree on topics like child custody or financial support.  This goes hand in hand with the lengthy process of litigating a divorce.

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AmandaDivorce is complicated for all family members: parents, children, etc. However, it is important for the children to have both parents involved in their lives. It may not be easy on divorcing parents to be around each other, but Parenting.com has given a few helpful tips to help you and your ex stay connected without things becoming too sticky.

Stay positive. It is important to look at your spouse as the parent of your children, not as the person that you just divorced. Concentrate on respecting one another, to be more specific, concentrate on the qualities that you respect of your ex rather than the ones that upset you. Trinidad Madrigal, a child-custody expert, suggests taking a parenting class or therapy if you are having problems trying to stay positive with your children. Be sure to focus on what is best for your children.

Think of activities that you and your spouse both think are ideal for the children. Then, decide who can take them where. This can be a variety of things such as, the library, zoo, or an amusement park. Divide who takes them places equally, so there is not any competition.

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A Brooklyn appellate court decided that a prenuptial agreement between Elizabeth Petrakis and her husband, Peter Petrakis, will be thrown out. This decision almost never happens, according to Elizabeth’s attorney. Her lawyer also stated that "To a large degree, this has upset the heretofore common thinking that prenups were not subject to challenge. ... Now there&s precedent for vacating a prenup."

According to this article in the Huffington Post, the prenup was presented to Elizabeth three months before the marriage. It stated that she would get $25,000 for every year they were married, but all assets acquired during their marriage would belong to Peter in case of a divorce. Elizabeth refused to sign it until four days before the wedding, when Peter told her he’d tear it up once they had children.

Unfortunately, Peter never tore it up—an act which Elizabeth’s attorney calls fraud. This deception was the grounds for the case, and why the appellate court ruled in Elizabeth’s favor.

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AmandaIn a recent article in the Chicago Tribune, the divorce of reality star Kim Kardashian and NBA basketball player Kris Humphries will go to trial in May. More than a year and half after the couple had decided to separate and file for divorce. On February 15th, a judge in Los Angeles ruled that the trial would be in May.

The celebrity couple had an elaborate wedding, in August 2011, that was filmed for TV. The couple called it quits after only 72 days of marriage. Kardashian filed the divorce stating irreconcilable differences. They have been having difficulties with agreeing on the divorce terms. Humphries has insisted on an annulment claiming that Kardashian never intended on keeping the marriage. Kardashian began dating rapper Kanye West last April and is now pregnant with her first child. The divorce will be Kardashian’s second. She was previously married to Damon Thomas, a music producer. They wed in 2000 and divorced after 4 years, in 2004.

The trial for her second divorce will be May 6th, set by Los Angeles County Judge Stephen Moloney. Kardashian and Humphries are both required to attend the court date and they must also be present for the pretrial hearing on April 12th. Most Hollywood divorces are settled through negotiation rather than a trial because of publicity. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who filed for divorce last year, took only two weeks to settle their divorce and kept the financial and personal details private.

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Posted on in Divorce

Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa have been married for over 10 years, and Vanessa filed for divorce in December 2011. However, according to a recent report by the Chicago Tribune, the two have reconciled.

Bryant is considered by many to be one of the greatest basketball players in NBA history. However, his fame has not been without scandal. Most memorably, he was accused of sexually assaulting an employee of a Colorado hotel back in 2003. He married his wife just two years before the accusation, in 2001. Eventually the charges against Bryant were dropped when his accuser refused to testify against him. Bryant and his wife remained together through the scandal. There was not an announcement as to why Vanessa filed for divorce in 2012, but there was some speculation that her filing had something to do with his alleged affairs.

Kobe made the announced on Facebook that he and Vanessa were moving on with their lives as a family. Vanessa chose Instagram as her social media outlet. She stated that she was pleased to announce that she and Kobe had reconciled and that all of the divorce action was going to be dismissed. This is certainly great news for not only them but also their two daughters, who are 10 and 6 years of age.

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Posted on in Divorce

Many people are under the impression that in the case of an amicable divorce, the children are not affected. However, according to a report by the Chicago Tribune, children are affected in a negative manner by most divorces, and it does affect the way that children see things such as religion.

Researchers revealed that the Christian environment has long stood by the belief that as long as everyone involved in a divorce gets along and that there are no major conflicts, that things are going to be great. In situations such as this, children are overlooked. They do not deal with the issue of the actual breakdown of the nuclear family and how the fact that the parents are no longer together may affect the children in a less obvious way. In some cases, the children feel worse because they can&t understand why their parents are splitting up if there is no fighting or no obvious problem in the family. Children often internalize the issues of the parents and feel as if they had some kind of fault in the situation.

One researcher, who is also a child of divorced parents, states that children of divorce do tend to be less religious later in life than their peers who come from two parent homes, because they feel that they are not understood. They felt alone even inside of the church family. There are issues with trust being broken when a family breaks apart and that breach of trust often carries over into other parts of the child’s life on into adulthood.

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The star of the hit show "Two and a Half Men" Ashton Kutcher filed for divorce from actress wife Demi Moore on December 21, 2012, according to a story in the Chicago Tribune. The couple had been separated for over a year before the divorce was announced. Kutcher, 34, is not going to seek spousal support nor does he deny support to Moore.

Kutcher and Moore, 50, separated in November 2011 after Kutcher’s sex scandal with a San Diego woman. It was not the first time the former "That &70s Show" star had been caught cheating, however. In 2010, Kutcher met a woman in Hollywood, when he was bowling with his wife, and had a brief affair with the woman. Currently, Kutcher is seeing Mila Kunis, who also starred in "That &70s Show".

Moore and Kutcher’s relationship began a few years after Moore divorced actor husband Bruce Willis in 2000. The couple was married in 2005. "It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton," Moore said in a statement in 2011. "As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life," the statement said.

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Posted on in Divorce

As we are closing in on Christmas celebrations, there is a group of people, who might not be enjoying this season, for a good reason, wholeheartedly. This group would be the recently divorced and separated. Divorce and separation are always stressful, especially with children, and having to figure out what is essentially a family holiday will not make it easier. If you look for them, you can quickly find a story addressing the issue.

The biggest factor that makes Christmas challenging for the divorced and separated is memories. Memories of past Christmases can make the thought of not having a traditional, family-style Christmas very painful. This does not, however, mean that Christmas could not be enjoyed even if your family is going through a divorce. You can always come up with new traditions, and having a challenging holiday season this year does not mean it will always be like that.

Surprisingly, Christmas and divorce do have one thing in common. Both are something you should not try to handle alone. To make Christmas easier, you can reach out to friends and family for support or enjoyable company during the holidays. As for divorce, you can still contact your friends and family for support, but it is important to also contact an experienced divorce attorney in your area.

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The Chicago Tribune recently featured an article about a Chicago man who is ordered to pay child support for his twin daughters in Illinois. His children’s mother subsequently moved to a few different states, but the man continued to pay his support and it was sent to the woman in whatever state she happened to be living. When his children’s mother moved to the state of Mississippi several years ago, however, the man began to encounter difficulties. Mississippi reported that the man had fallen behind in his support in 2009, so he paid extra each week toward the deficit. However, Mississippi continued to deduct extra amounts from his paycheck, so he eventually became overpaid.

The problems did not stop there. The state of Illinois began sending the child support payments directly to the ex-girlfriend, bypassing the state of Mississippi altogether. As a result, Mississippi support records incorrectly showed that by 2012, the man owed more than $5,000 in unpaid support, and that state intercepted his federal income tax refund. In reality, the man is owed more than $1,500.00 in overpayments in child support that he has made to the state of Illinois. The man contacted the Problem Solver at the Chicago Tribune after repeatedly seeking help from the state of Illinois and Mississippi to no avail.

This case illustrates the complexities that can arise when parents reside in multiple states over the years and child support enforcement agencies become involved. While every state has interstate procedures for enforcing child support orders and collecting child support payments, these procedures are not always consistent among the different states, which can lead to major problems for the both the parent paying child support and the parent receiving child support.

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The recent scandal involving ex-CIA official David Petraeus, Tampa socialite Jill Kelley, biographer Paula Broadwell, and the shirtless General John Allen should remind us all that unlike many things in life, technology is infallible, and leaves a trail behind that is not all that difficult to follow. Whether an affair is carried out via email, text messages, Facebook, or other technological means, these electronic communications leave a path that even the least technologically-adept people can discover. In fact, some businesses have made a profit enabling people to easily discover infidelity by creating specialized computer monitoring software and ghost spyware to recreate a spouse’s computer keystrokes, monitor website usage, and record all emails, whether sent or received. As a result, private investigators who stake out allegedly cheating husbands may have become a thing of the past, and even they admit that these types of technological advances have cut into their business margins.

Electronic evidence of infidelity also is becoming more commonplace in court proceedings as couples duke it out through divorce or child custody battles. According to one survey, 81% of lawyers have seen an increase in the number of cases that have involved the use of evidence from social media sites over the last five years. The primary source of this evidence? Facebook, the popular social networking site, which has grown a reputation for reuniting long-lost lovers and rekindling old flames, sometimes to the detriment of current marriages or relationships. This phenomenon has even spawned the creation of a new website, Facebookcheating.com, which was founded by a man whose ex-wife had an affair with an old boyfriend with whom she had reconnected on Facebook.

The moral of this story is that no electronic communications are private, and there is always the potential for a third party – whether it be your current spouse or the FBI – to discover the extent, nature, and duration of your communications with another purpose. Deleting an email or erasing a text message is simply insufficient; these communications are almost always recoverable in some manner, and may be used against you in ongoing court proceedings, particularly where a divorce or child custody case is concerned.

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A Volo, IL mother and her two young children went missing. Aneta Marsek, 33, and her daughters, 2 year old Chevelle and 4 month old Macenzie, left her parents’ home around 7 p.m.on a Saturday night and disappeared. Her estranged husband Dan Marsek reported them missing. Police led an intense search for the family using helicopters and a small plane. Friends and family also helped out where they could, such as handing out flyers. There was even a candlelight vigil held for the mother and her two babies.

A week later, Marsek walked into a Wisconsin Dells gas station and told the attendant she thought police might be looking for her. A short time later, she took police to her vehicle where the two children were found safe. She told police that she had felt the need to get away and the Dells reminded her of when she was a child. She also said that she and the children had been living in the car since arriving in the area, a Chevy Trailblazer.

But Dan Marsek filed paperwork with the court after his estranged wife was found, alleging that the disappearance with the children was just another attempt to keep them from him and to avoid a hearing which was to set a visitation schedule. According to a report from NBC Chicago, Dan Marsek told the court that Aneta Marsek has disappeared three other times this year; in January, March and May.

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According to the Huffington Post, the 2011 divorce of Ronnie Wood has culminated in a two-day auction of Rolling Stones memorabilia and artwork jointly owned by Wood and his wife as part of their divorce settlement. Notable items included in the auction included Wood’s white leather coat that sold for $8,960, a lithograph of Eric Clapton drawn by Wood and signed by both Clapton and Wood that sold for $5,120, and Wood’s 1955 Fender Stratocaster guitar that went for $60,800. The auction took place at Julien’s Auctions Beverly Hills gallery.

When a divorcing couple owns assets of any value, they must be divided in an equitable manner between the parties. This often becomes a point of contention during a divorce, particularly when the assets are of a significant value. If parties are unable to reach a satisfactory division of personal property, or if it is necessary to liquidate assets in order to pay off marital debts, then an auction of personal property can be one way to raise those funds. In a case such as the Wood divorce, where an auction of the parties’ Rolling Stones memorabilia was likely to result in a large pay-off for the parties, an auction was probably the easiest way to liquidate the parties’ assets.

Dividing personal property, especially when it has a high value, can be a more difficult task than it may seem at first. Parties often become attached items of personal property for sentimental, need-based, or even financial reasons. In a time of loss such as a divorce, high emotions can make dividing even the most basic of items a complicated process. If you are in this situation, you will need the assistance of an experienced Lombard, Illinois divorce attorney to sort through your marital property and help you make decisions about the property division arrangement that would best suit you.

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