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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in reasons for divorce

financial infidelity, Illinois divorce attorneysHave you ever cheated on your spouse? Before you answer, keep in mind that cheating can mean much more than an episode of sexual indiscretion. In fact, there is another type of cheating that is far more prevalent in today’s marriages, and it has virtually nothing to do with adultery; it pertains, instead, to a couple’s finances. According to a recent survey, more than 40 percent of Americans have committed what is known as financial infidelity against their partner. With money already a commonly-cited contributor to the breakdown of marriages, financial infidelity, if not addressed and resolved, can quickly lead a couple down a path toward divorce.

What is Financial Infidelity?

Although it may take many forms, the basic idea of financial infidelity is relatively simple: one partner in a relationship with combined finances lies about or hides money and purchases. It could be an interest-bearing account set up in his name that she has no idea exists, or it could be a credit card that she has on the side. Whatever the case, if both partners are not fully disclosing financial concerns—within previously agreed-upon parameters—one or both may be committing financial infidelity.

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marriage breakdown of communicationNumerous studies confirm that the primary contributing factor of divorce is the breakdown of communication. The Huffington Post recently posted the results of yet another study confirming that communication is essential for a successful marriage. The online lifestyle resource, Your Tango, recently polled 100 medical health professionals who in agreement, at 65 percent, still cite the lack of communication as the major contributor to divorce.

Dr. Kelly M. Flanagan, an Illinois licensed psychologist and contributor to The Huffington Post, begs to differ. Dr. Flanagan contributes the following additional factors as possible contributors responsible for the high rate of divorce.

We Like, Therefore We Think We Love

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Laughter, laughing, divorce, divorce rate, Illinois divorce lawyerAccording to Fun Trivia, laughing uses 53 of our muscles. Laughter, often revered as the best medicine, involves jiggling our facial, jaw and throat muscles, and ultimately tickling our Zygomatic and Risorius muscles. Did you ever consider that by flexing these 53 optimal muscles you could keep your marriage intact?

A new study conducted by University of Maryland sociologist, Philip N. Cohen, suggests that divorce rates will increase as our economy improves. The reason? Couples can finally afford to seek the services of an experienced divorce attorney to dissolve their marital ties and be financially secure in their decision.

So how could flexing these 53 muscles improve your chances of staying married as the economy improves? Co-authors, Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch of "Save My Marriage Today!" offer the following advice.

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Posted on in Divorce

cold feet, wedding, marriage, Arlington Heights divorce lawyer, family lawTwo separate studies have concluded that if a bride or groom develops "cold feet" before the wedding takes place, it could be a sign that there may not be a living happily ever after ahead.

During one of the studies, conducted by University of California, 232 newlywed couples were interviewed. In order to participate, all couples needed to meet the following criteria:

  • The marriage is less than six months old;
  • This is the first marriage for both spouses;
  • Neither spouse has any children;
  • Both spouses are over 18 years of age, but wives are younger than 35 years of age;
  • Both couples have at least a 10th grade education.

Of the 464 people the study interviewed, 47 percent of the men and 38 percent of the women admitted to being uncertain about getting married before the wedding. The conclusion of the researchers was that marriages where at least one spouse had doubts had poorer staying power after four years. Marriages where the wife had expressed doubts had two and a half times higher the divorce rate.

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 addictionAccording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the divorce rate is improving slightly. Only 40 percent of all today’s American couples will seek a divorce attorney rather than 50 percent in the 1980s.

 So why is so difficult for Americans to hold it together? It could be one of these five  reasons:
  1. Friend or family issues;
  2. Sexual dissatisfaction;
  3. Addiction problems;
  4. Financial woes;
  5. The breakdown of communication.
Compulsive gambling can be as devastating to a marriage as alcoholism or infidelity. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) defines compulsive gambling as an impulse control disorder. For any family dealing with a family member afflicted by any addiction, daily life can be a struggle. The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that divorce rates among compulsive gamblers are more than double those who only gamble on occasion. If you suspect that your spouse is battling a gambling addiction, review these warning signs and either suggest that your loved one reach out for professional assistance or contact an experienced divorce attorney:  Employment Issues Most pathological gamblers experience problems not only maintaining a job, but with theft on the job. Does your spouse experience lulls in full-time, sustainable employment? Have there been issues of work-related theft or repayment of loans to co-workers?  White-Collar Crime More than half of proclaimed professional gamblers have admitted to forgery, identity theft, tax evasion and fraud. If you and your spouse are dealing with an IRS audit or fielding general questions from a local authority, this may be a tip as to the severity of the problem.  Financial Folly Does your spouse mention bankruptcy as a means to solve financial problems? Have you started hiding the checkbook, credit cards or cash?  Depression Statistically three-fourths of all problem gamblers suffer from depression. Have you noticed a change in your spouse's mood? Have you spent time worrying about the mental health of your spouse? Do he or she only express happiness when they had a good day at the track?  Domestic Violence As with all marriages, living with an addiction can be devastating. Verbal and physical abuse often increases by 50 percent in a home where gambling is a family secret. Have you noticed an increase in physical or verbal abuse from your spouse?  Family Facts The impact on your kids can also be damaging. Have you noticed a change in how your spouse relates to them?Is he or she have a short-fuse or have occasional bursts of anger? Take note, children influenced by a person addicted to gambling may also roll the dice later in life.  Suicide If you think suicide is a possibility, it may be time to reach out for professional help. The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that 20 percent of problem gamblers have attempted suicide.  Divorce Addiction can take it toll on your marriage. If you feel that your spouse would be open to seeking professional help, discuss it openly, bring the family secret to the forefront and fight. If you're considering divorce, contacting an experienced family law attorney may be your best bet. You have been dealt a difficult hand. By placing a call to A. Traub & Associates at 630-425-0196 our dedicated team of experienced divorce attorneys will listen to your issues, keep you informed and work diligently to bring the matter to as swift a resolution as possible. We are here to help you beat the odds.

Posted on in Divorce

If you feel as if you are in a bad marriage and cannot seem to escape, you are not the only one. According to a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and as reported by the Huffington Post, "the fear of being single may drive adults to stay in bad relationships or settle for less-than-desirable partners, all because they’d rather have someone than no one." The fear of being alone trumps the need for divorce for these people, and is more a factor in their reluctance to pull the trigger on divorce than morality or societal pressure.

Researchers that contributed to the study first had to determine that fear of loneliness was a commonly shared attribute. "Of the 153 participants in one study, 40 percent said they feared not having a long term companion," reports the Huffington Post. Significantly fewer respondents broke down this fear of being alone into more specific fears—just less than 20 percent reported a fear of spinsterhood, for example. Those who fear being alone, the researchers concluded, very often "prioritize relationship status above relationship quality, settling for less responsive and less attractive partners and remaining in relationships that are less satisfying," according to the Huffington Post.

While it may seem a wise decision to avoid divorce if you are afraid of being alone, according to Psychology Today, staying in a bad marriage can be just as psychologically damaging. "Divorce, although tumultuous and potentially scarring, at least provides the possibility of better days," reports Psychology Today. Addressing your fears of being alone is the first step toward reconciling the marriage. Once you’ve addressed these fears, you can decide whether it’s worth it to you to work on the marriage or begin divorce proceedings. "If we can work through the fears around separation," reports Psychology Today, "then we are electing to stay in the marriage not from fear but from choice."

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