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When to Date Again After Divorce

 Posted on March 10, 2017 in Divorce

Lombard family law attorneysEnding a marriage through a divorce can leave a gaping hole in your life. You may feel lonely, depressed, unwanted, and bored. The way you used to spend your time and energy has changed, and now you want something new. Some divorcees want to avoid relationships for a time after splitting from their spouse while others are eager to start dating again. Is there a right time to start dating after getting a divorce?

Dating Before Your Divorce is Finalized

“Life happens” as the saying goes and sometimes you meet Mr. Right or Ms. Right before you are technically divorced. Many experts agree that dating during a divorce is not the wisest choice. You may choose to pursue a new relationship at this stage anyway, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

If you have children, it is very important to consider how dating a new person will affect them. The separation of you and your spouse was most likely very traumatic to them – even if they are not currently showing it. Children often feel confused, unloved, and afraid during a separation. Their family dynamic is changing dramatically, and it is hard to them to understand this and adapt to it regardless of their age.

Bringing a new romantic partner into this tumultuous scenario rarely goes well. Children may resent the new person and believe that he or she caused their parents’ separation. They may also feel threatened by the new love interest and act out at home or school. Other children may become very attached to this new person in an unhealthy way. Experts suggest waiting until several months after your divorce is finalized before introducing your children to a new love interest.

Another consideration of dating before your divorce is finalized is the possibility of getting pregnant or impregnating your new partner. This can lead to slowdowns in finalizing your divorce case due to paternity concerns and decisions regarding child custody and support.

Dating After Your Divorce is Finalized

There is no magic number of months or years that will make it acceptable to start dating again. Every person is unique and will require a different amount of time to heal from a divorce. When you do decide to date, you should consider:

  • Are you ready to possibly have another relationship end and be hurt again?
  • Do you only want a relationship to fill the void left by your ex-spouse?
  • Are your children ready for you to start dating?
  • Have you given yourself time to mourn the loss of your marriage?

Only you can answer questions such as these for yourself and your family. If, however, you have concerns about the possible legal ramifications of a new romantic relationship during or after your divorce, an experienced Lombard family law attorney can help. At A. Traub & Associates, we will work with you to ensure your rights are fully protected as you seek a happier future. Call 630-426-0196 for a confidential consultation today.



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