Posted on August 14, 2014 in Divorce

Multiple studies have all concluded the same thing: divorce is bad for children. But that is not to say that parents should stay together "for the sake of the children" since other studies have shown that can be just as emotionally damaging to children as well.

However, being aware of how children are negatively affected by divorce may help parents navigate the child through the healing process with as little emotional impact as possible. The following are some of the more recent studies over the past several years that have revealed some of the negative effects of divorce on children:

• A study conducted last year by the University of Toronto found that children of divorced families begin smoking in much greater numbers than children with married parents. Women from divorced families were 39 more times more likely to begin smoking before they turned 18 years old and men were 48 percent more likely to begin smoking. There were 19,000 American people who participated in the survey.

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 Posted on August 11, 2014 in Child Custody

Divorce is painful, sometimes unexpected, financially and emotionally draining and, most often, difficult on the children involved. Fortunately, the concept of shared joint custody between two responsible parents is on the rise.

For those residing in Illinois, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5) recognizes joint custody as one of the two basics forms of child custody, the other being sole custody.

When it works well, joint custody permits continuing involvement of both parents in the lives of their children, providing them with a more encouraging outlook for the future.

Establishing joint custody with a former spouse takes hard work. You need to maintain the strong devotion to your children and possess the ability to keep your personal emotions in check as you opt for variable compromises throughout the process.

Remember, this is not going to be easy. You will need to confer and consult with a former partner who may not be high on your likeability scale. For those wishing to venture into this type of arrangement, Parents magazine offers the following tips.

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 Posted on August 07, 2014 in Child Support

The bond between a mother and her child is undeniable. According to a recent article by Parenting magazine contributing editor and co-author of Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives: A Holistic Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth Deepak Chopra, M.D., a close personal attachment with your child may prevent diseases, boost immunity and enhance the IQ quotient of your child’s developing mind. Dr. Chopra further believes that maternal bonding has evolved into such a complex physiological phenomenon that touches our hearts, brains, hormones, nervous systems or about every component of our physical being. The study included in Chopra’s book, made possible by a grant from Mead Johnson Nutrition, suggests that a strong maternal bond may prove even more powerful than DNA.

But where does all this research leave Illinois fathers trying to establish a paternal bond with their children post-divorce? Recently, the Illinois Fathers Network, founded in 2008 and recently established as a non-profit organization, is trying to answer this question for Illinois fathers and other non-custodial family members by proposing three revisions to current Illinois statutes.

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 Posted on July 31, 2014 in Divorce

You have finally made the decision to get a divorce. Whether it is an agreed upon decision with your spouse or something you've decided on your own, there are several things you should do in order to help minimize the financial hit you could be facing.

According to financial advisors, one of the first things you want to get rid of is any joint loans and credit cards you have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Until your divorce is final, you and your spouse are both legally and financially responsible for each other’s debts, even if you had nothing to do with incurring the debt. If your spouse takes your shared credit card that and decides to go out and charge a whole new wardrobe on it, you are both responsible for the debt. Never assume that your spouse would not do something like that. Even the friendliest divorces can suddenly turn contentious.

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 Posted on July 29, 2014 in Divorce

Sounds a bit strange, does it not? You are an adult, you have been married and you have been divorced. Currently you are on your own and now feel you are ready to take a chance on dating. Be prepared; your children may not be supportive of your decision.

According to Constance Ahrons, Ph.D, family therapist and author of "The Good Divorce" and "We’re Still Family," your decision to begin dating, no matter how long after divorce, is probably going to be received by your children with chilly resistance. It may also stir up a whole new cauldron of feelings for your offspring. In fact, your decision to begin dating may even be as traumatic an event as the divorce.

So how do you approach the subject? Try the following these tips and remember you are an adult and you are capable of making an informed decision.

The Sit Down Conversation

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 Posted on July 23, 2014 in Divorce

According to Fun Trivia, laughing uses 53 of our muscles. Laughter, often revered as the best medicine, involves jiggling our facial, jaw and throat muscles, and ultimately tickling our Zygomatic and Risorius muscles. Did you ever consider that by flexing these 53 optimal muscles you could keep your marriage intact?

A new study conducted by University of Maryland sociologist, Philip N. Cohen, suggests that divorce rates will increase as our economy improves. The reason? Couples can finally afford to seek the services of an experienced divorce attorney to dissolve their marital ties and be financially secure in their decision.

So how could flexing these 53 muscles improve your chances of staying married as the economy improves? Co-authors, Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch of "Save My Marriage Today!" offer the following advice.

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 Posted on July 18, 2014 in Divorce

When people think of prenuptial agreement clauses, what typically comes to mind are items such as property, financial assets and spousal support. However, due to how integral social media has become to our day to day lives, it is becoming more commonplace for couples to add clauses in their prenups regarding social media behavior.

These types of clauses are not just for celebrities or other people in the public spotlight. These types of provisions are for anyone who works in a business where their reputation is critical to success and could lose their job at even a hint of scandal.

Popular social media clauses include not posing any embarrassing or inappropriate photos or videos that could harm the other spouse’s reputation. This could also include what type of comments that a person makes.

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 Posted on July 15, 2014 in Divorce

Two separate studies have concluded that if a bride or groom develops "cold feet" before the wedding takes place, it could be a sign that there may not be a living happily ever after ahead.

During one of the studies, conducted by University of California, 232 newlywed couples were interviewed. In order to participate, all couples needed to meet the following criteria:

• The marriage is less than six months old;
• This is the first marriage for both spouses;
• Neither spouse has any children;
• Both spouses are over 18 years of age, but wives are younger than 35 years of age;
• Both couples have at least a 10th grade education.

Of the 464 people the study interviewed, 47 percent of the men and 38 percent of the women admitted to being uncertain about getting married before the wedding. The conclusion of the researchers was that marriages where at least one spouse had doubts had poorer staying power after four years. Marriages where the wife had expressed doubts had two and a half times higher the divorce rate.

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 Posted on July 11, 2014 in Adoption

Determining whether or not adoption is the right path for you takes careful consideration. It is not a decision you will reach quickly, because your decision may affect the child, you and your spouse, and the birth parents. There are some tough questions to ask not of the adoption agency but of yourself.

Planned Parenthood, a trusted healthcare provider of women around the globe, offers a list of questions to potential adoptive parents to encourage considerations before moving forward with your decision to adopt a child into your life and your home.

• Am I ready to become a parent?
• Do I have adequate finances to care for a child?
• How will adoption affect my future?
• Will I be haunted by the fact that I am not the biological parent?
• Is adoption something I feel I should do or is it what I want to do?

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 Posted on July 09, 2014 in Divorce

One of the most important steps in going through a divorce is choosing your attorney. Having the right attorney can help determine how smooth, or how wrought with delays and frustrations your divorce will be.

When choosing an attorney, you should consider several candidates. Get referrals from several sources. If you have friends who have recently gone through divorces, ask them. Depending on how their divorces went, some may even recommend their ex-spouse's attorney instead of their own. It is also a good idea to get referrals from other attorneys. If you have an attorney you consult with for business or an estate planning attorney, contact them and ask them for a referral. You can also visit the websites of your local and state bar associations to get names of family law attorneys.

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