Recent Blog Posts
Domestic Violence: the Basics
Domestic violence is an uncomfortable subject to discuss, but it is one that is unfortunately very common. When people hear the term "domestic violence", they imagine drunken men hitting their helpless wives or girlfriends…but there are many other psychological and emotional factors involved.
To understand domestic violence, we must first know what "abuse" entails. According to the Illinois State Police, abuse can include the following:
- Physical abuse
- Harassment
- Making a child or other person watch abuse
- Forcing you to do something you don’t want to do
- Denying a disabled person access to needed care
Every 15 seconds, a woman in the United States is beaten by an abusive partner. More often than not, these attacks require medical attention. In about 95 percent of partner abuse situations, it is the man who is abusing the woman. But in 5% of cases, it is the other way around. Unfortunately, when children are raised in homes where violence is prevalent, they generally grow up to believe that violence is the only way to properly control another person.
Divorce Can Literally Break Your Heart
Being prepared for a break up isn&t usually something that most couples think about when they get married. However, with the divorce rate being so high, knowing what to expect can only help to avoid the health effects that divorce can cause. According to Shape.com, there are several ways divorce can affect a person&s health. Divorce can be physically and emotionally devastating to both parties but can have an adverse effect on a woman&s health.
Insomnia is a common complaint from women going through a divorce. Getting enough sleep is important to one&s health. If you aren&t sleeping, it may be time to have a discussion with your doctor. Divorce can wreak havoc on your immune system. That is why it is so important to do the things that promote good health. Eating a balanced diet and exercise are important to good health. Skipping meals will only work against your efforts to stay healthy.
Immigration, Naturalization, and Divorce
When considering divorce, some Americans have more to think about than others. Among these are immigrants or naturalized citizens who came to America because their spouse was a U.S. citizen.
Not only does divorce or annulment change the validity of this type of visa, it can also affect the citizen status of children, if the child is 18 years old or older. According to the New York Daily News, "once an immigrant derives U.S. citizenship from a U.S. citizen parent, his citizenship is not impacted by his parents’ actions, or even his own marriage," providing that he was unmarried at the time that he immigrated to the U.S. Yet determining whether or not a child obtained citizenship through his parents can be confusing, especially considering that there are a different set of rules for children who were 18 and over as of February 2001. Yet if the child is a permanent resident and younger than 18 years old, "and then the parent or parents naturalize, the child gets automatic citizenship," no matter whether his parents divorce or not.
Emotional Affairs Count as Cheating
Infidelity, while it may seem an overplayed meme in modern society, is still one of the most common reasons for divorce in America. According to InfidelityFacts.com, only 31 percent of American marriages last after an affair has "been admitted to or discovered," and the divorce rate in America is just over 50 percent. Despite the risks associated with having an affair, the majority of people in long-term committed relationships, at least according to InfidelityFacts.com, admit to being unfaithful. This percentage is just slightly higher for men (57 percent) than for women (54 percent), but the fact that both percentages are over half may be shocking. The average length of an affair is about two years. 
And yet an affair may not just be the actual physical act of cheating. The idea of an emotional affair is, in some cases, even more offensive than physical. In more than 40 percent of American marriages, "one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional," according to InfidelityFacts.com.
How to Prepare for Divorce as a Stay at Home Spouse
Divorce is a difficult process for both people, but for a stay at home spouse it can be downright scary. You are suddenly faced with the reality that your life will change completely. While emotions run high, you must muster up the strength to prepare if you expect to come out on top. As a stay at home parent, you are accustomed to your ex being the breadwinner, and now with divorce looming you realize that your lifestyle as you currently know it will change. Wife.org warns against falling into the financial pitfalls of divorce.
Not Having a Plan
Far too often, the stay at home spouse doesn&t think to have a financial plan in place when divorce happens. If your working spouse has moved out, monies for two residences may not be possible. How will you manage? Long before the divorce process begins, it is important to be financially prepared.
Announcing Your Divorce via Social Media: is it Tacky or Practical
Social media is here to stay. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram are great ways to stay connected and to keep your followers updated on the goings-on in your life. It is a place where you announce getting a promotion, the expectancy of a new baby, and when you start dating a new person; but is it a good idea to announce your divorce via social media? According to a survey conducted by the Huffington Post, people have mixed feelings.
While going through a divorce, it is not a good idea to talk about it via social media. Innocent comments made by you or your children can be used against you and affect the outcome of your divorce. However, after the divorce is complete, making an announcement to the world via social media may be viewed at tasteless to some, while others find it practical. One woman posted her divorce announcement after she and her ex agreed to do so. In their case, they wanted their friends and family to know that to end the marriage was a mutual and amicable decision. Another woman admits that she made the announcement by changing her marital status and her name instead of making a formal announcement. Still, others in the survey felt that such a private and personal matter has no place in social media.
It really comes down to a personal choice. Bashing your ex isn't recommended. Save that for face to face conversations with close and trusted friends if you feel that you need to vent. Take into consideration who may see the announcement and how this news may affect him or her, or how it could affect your former spouse or your children.
If you are going through a divorce consult with an Illinois divorce lawyer to discuss your options. A qualified attorney will work on your behalf to protect your assets.
Image courtesy of digitalart/freedigitalphotos.net
Don't Let Divorce Damage Your Health
Life has its twists and turns, which unfortunately, for many Illinois couples, may include divorce. Some people may not realize the damage that a divorce can cause to one's health. Getting the outcome that you desire is important, but equally as important is your physical and mental well-being. The Telegraph stresses the importance of taking care of yourself throughout the divorce process and afterwards.
Because the process can be overwhelming, it is easy to focus on everything other than good health when you are going through a divorce. However, the lasting effects of a divorce may make you reconsider. Most people are aware that divorce could lead to short-term depression and anxiety. Nevertheless, going through a divorce can also be linked to higher risks of breast cancer and heart disease.
To combat the risk of poor health during a divorce, eat regularly. The loss of appetite is often reported, but this should be avoided to maintain good health. Find a healthy way, rather than a destructive way, to manage stress levels. Avoid smoking and overuse of alcohol, as these vices may seem to offer relief, but will work against good health. Exercise and meditation are constructive ways to relieve stress. Staying connected with close friends and family is important. Express your emotions to people who will not judge you and those who have your best interests in mind. Now is not the time to avoid friends. Getting the help and the support that you need is critical to your health.
Getting through a divorce can seem impossible for some. Ensuring that you are healthy mentally and physically during this stressful time will only help matters. Having an experienced Illinois divorce attorney working on our behalf can make a favorable outcome more achievable. Set yourself up to succeed by contacting a lawyer today.
Image courtesy of nixxphotography/freedigitalphotos.net
Children's Questions About Divorce
Going through a divorce is a tough situation on its own, and adding children into the mix can make things even more overwhelming. In order to make the situation a little less stressful, it is important to know how to answer the important questions your children will ask about your divorce. In general, children will ask the same types of difficult questions about divorce. However, experts say that you don’t necessarily need to have every single answer ready. The best way to handle them when they come is to prepare mentally and be ready to listen and respond in a sensitive way.
Diane Shearer is an experienced family therapist. She goes by the philosophy that we should look beyond the questions children ask about divorce and focus on what they’re really looking for. "When kids ask tough questions, they aren’t looking for complicated answers. They are looking for affirmation, not information."
- Why? Kids don’t want to know the nitty-gritty details on the reasons behind your divorce, but they’re looking for the big-picture reason. According to Shearer, kids worry that since their parents can stop loving each other, they might stop loving the kids, too. It’s important that you assure that a parent’s love for their child is vastly different from love between parents. Let your children know that your love for them will never change.
Social Service Agencies offer Expanded Services for Domestic Violence Victims
According to CBS Chicago, in the upcoming year, there is going to be a new shelter in the Chicago Lawn area for domestic violence victims. Agency officials stated that there has been a large amount of calls for help in that area and that presently there is just nowhere for the victims to seek shelter.The occurrences of domestic violence statistics are staggering and it happens more often than people realize. In fact, some divorce mediation programs report that up to 80 percent of divorces cite some kind of domestic violence as a reason for the divorce filing. In Chicago, there is a specific procedure used for handling divorce mediation where domestic violence is reported. Each party named in the divorce wait in separated waiting areas while filling out a 14-question written interview regarding safety concerns. The parties are then interviewed privately to screen for domestic violence. Each party is also escorted separately from the building by security guards.
Domestic violence incidences are taken seriously because of the possible grievous consequences. Many states do have different procedures in dealing with domestic violence divorces such as waiving the cohabitation clause. Some states do require that a divorcing couple live apart for a predetermined amount of time before the court will grant the divorce. Domestic violence is also a serious consideration when it comes to issues of child custody and visitation. A parent that has a history of domestic violence may be limited to supervised visitation sessions for the protection of the children.
If you are a victim of domestic violence and you are seeking a divorce, you need to hire an empathetic and informed Illinois family law attorney to ensure the safety and protect the interests of you and your children.
Image courtesy of Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot/freedigitalphotos.net
How to Get Insurance Coverage after Divorce
One perk of being married to a spouse with a good job is that you may be able to get employer-sponsored insurance. However, a divorce can make it difficult for the other spouse to remain insured, even for the children they have together.Insurance companies look at "qualifying events" to continue coverage for individuals who are no longer officially covered by insurance. There both state and federal laws allow ex-spouses and children to continue being on an employer-sponsored health insurance after a divorce.
There are four considerations that must be followed to remain on a plan, or get insurance coverage, according to the Illinois Spousal Continuation Law.
- An employer or plan administration has to let you know of your right to continue insurance benefits after a divorce. Some of the time this happens AFTER the former spouse contacts the employer or plan administration. The spouse must let them know within 30 days after the divorce is final. If the former spouse does not notify the proper parties, it can lead to loss of insurance.
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