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A child's role in divorce
Many people are under the impression that in the case of an amicable divorce, the children are not affected. However, according to a report by the Chicago Tribune, children are affected in a negative manner by most divorces, and it does affect the way that children see things such as religion.
Researchers revealed that the Christian environment has long stood by the belief that as long as everyone involved in a divorce gets along and that there are no major conflicts, that things are going to be great. In situations such as this, children are overlooked. They do not deal with the issue of the actual breakdown of the nuclear family and how the fact that the parents are no longer together may affect the children in a less obvious way. In some cases, the children feel worse because they can&t understand why their parents are splitting up if there is no fighting or no obvious problem in the family. Children often internalize the issues of the parents and feel as if they had some kind of fault in the situation.
Ashton Kutcher Divorces Demi Moore after Six Years of Marriage
The star of the hit show "Two and a Half Men" Ashton Kutcher filed for divorce from actress wife Demi Moore on December 21, 2012, according to a story in the Chicago Tribune. The couple had been separated for over a year before the divorce was announced. Kutcher, 34, is not going to seek spousal support nor does he deny support to Moore.
Kutcher and Moore, 50, separated in November 2011 after Kutcher’s sex scandal with a San Diego woman. It was not the first time the former "That &70s Show" star had been caught cheating, however. In 2010, Kutcher met a woman in Hollywood, when he was bowling with his wife, and had a brief affair with the woman. Currently, Kutcher is seeing Mila Kunis, who also starred in "That &70s Show".
Moore and Kutcher’s relationship began a few years after Moore divorced actor husband Bruce Willis in 2000. The couple was married in 2005. "It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton," Moore said in a statement in 2011. "As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life," the statement said.
Divorce Rate Increasing for over 60-Year-Olds
A recent study has found that divorces among over 60-year-olds are on the rise in Britain, according to the Chicago Tribune. More people over 60 got a divorce in England and Wales in 2011 than in 2010. The overall number of divorces in Britain decreased last year, but so called "silver separations" increased. The divorce rate has not been this high in over 40 years in the UK.
There are a number of reasons for this trend, for example, retirement, changes in life, and higher life expectancy. In many cases, older people start to drift apart and get divorced after their children head off to university or move out. According to UK pensions expert and campaigner Ros Altmann, higher life expectancy was one of the reasons for over 15,000 men and women over the age of 60 divorcing last year. "In the past couples might have stayed together because they thought &What have I got left to live?& Now you&re not old at 60. Your life is just beginning in a new phase," Altmann said.
Are Children Really Affected by Divorce?
In 2003 an article published in USA Today reported that there were two growing but conflicting bodies of research that dealt with the reactions of children to their parents’ divorce. Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist and author, asserts that kids who come from divorced homes "lack role models for a healthy marriage," and that the majority grew up in homes where the parents stayed angry. Wallerstein, and those on her side of the debate argue that children from divorced households "entered adulthood as worried, underachieving, self-deprecating, and sometimes angry." She asserts that stepfamilies aren’t necessary good either, and can lead to bonding issues later in life, and that children with divorced parents experience greater levels of substance abuse and earlier sexual experiences.
On the other side of the fence is developmental psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington, who recognizes the challenges of raising kids in divorced households but argues that the negative effects of divorce "are exaggerated while the positive effects are ignored." She cites the fact that 70 percent of adult children of divorce "say divorce is an acceptable solution to an unhappy marriage, even with children." Forty percent of adults from non-divorced families agree. It’s worse for kids with unhappy parents to stay caught in the middle of arguments and negativity than to have a happy, albeit "broken" home to grow up in.
Custody battle: children's online footprint
Stacy Thibodeaux, 45, of St. Peters, says she was furious when she found pictures of her children on her ex-husband’s online dating profile after their divorce. She confronted her ex, claiming that it was inappropriate to have their young children’s images on Match.com.
Following her confrontation, he simply blocked her from his profile.
Thibodeaux, who has recently remarried after being divorced for five years, said she realized that she could not control what her ex-husband did with their children’s pictures. It had occurred to her, however, that it may have been helpful to establish some ground rules about their children’s digital exposure as part of their custody agreement.
Managing a child’s online footprint is becoming part of many conversations during divorce and after custody settlements as social networks become a universal way to share information.
Ashton Kutcher- Divorcing and Dating
The former co-stars from "That 70s Show" had a very happy holiday together.
The couple first went to visit Kutcher’s family in his hometown of Cedar Rapids, Iowa for Christmas. Most recently, however, they were spotted in the Chicago suburb of La Grange, Illinois, having a "flirty brunch."
Kunis and Kutcher were spotted at Prasino, where the restaurant’s marketing director, Lauren Zeien, managed to get a photo of the newly public couple.
These two former co-stars have been dating since April, but only became public about the relationship this past fall. More recently, they have been spotted together all over the globe. Getting fro-yo in Iowa, sharing a romantic dinner in Rome, and hanging out together in the middle of New York City’s Central Park.
Sources from the Chicago area restaurant shared that Kutcher, 34, and Kunis, 29, seemed extra flirty during their lunch date. It was also shared that the famous couple was "very courteous to (the restaurant’s) staff." The couple shared the short rib skillet and the Florentine crepes.
Divorce and Depression
Divorce is rampant in our society. There are many reasons that couples decide to end marriages. One leading cause of divorce is depression in one spouse.
Roughly 15 million Americans, or 6.7% of the U.S. population suffer from depression. Depression is not something you can just snap out of, but rather a disease that needs to be treated. For the spouse who is living with a depressed spouse, things can quickly turn from a loving, fun marriage to a coping, care taking role in a marriage. This causes wear and tear on a relationship. No matter how committed one is to a marriage,giving all the time can hurt and cause resentment towards the spouse who has the depression.
Many couples realize that depression is a problem and may try counseling or other options as a solution. However, what leads to divorce is not the depression itself but rather, how the couple deals with it. Depression can just be a stepping stone to other problems such as anger, abuse and cheating.
Reasons to Wait until January to Divorce
According to a report by Reuters, it may be a good idea to wait until after the new year to file for divorce as opposed to doing it around the Christmas season. Many people would think that it is just about making the holiday a good one, however there are more reasons to consider waiting.
End of Year Bonus
If your spouse receives a holiday bonus from the job, they usually receive right around the Christmas time. Waiting until January makes those funds part of the family’s finances. Filing for the divorce before the disbursement of this money nullifies it from being community property. For some these bonuses can be pretty significant.
Emotions are Flying High
Emotions are always flying high during the holiday season as it is. Even though there are enjoyable times, it is also very stressful. You may have house guests and you may even see family that you only see once a year. This is not a good time to be going through divorce proceedings. Waiting until after the holidays helps both parties to keep a level head about the situation.
Dealing with Divorce during the Holiday Season
While Christmas is a special time of year for many, there are many others that are seeking solace from the pain of divorce. A report by the Huffington Post offers some great activities to help get over your ex and start the year anew with a better outlook on life.
Stocking Stuffer
If you have a Christmas stocking for your ex, it may be too painful to just throw it in the garbage. That may also make it confusing for the children. Instead, write yourself positive messages on small strips of paper and drop them into the stocking. When you are feeling down, pull a message from the stocking to remind yourself that things will get better! Make sure that you do this at least once a day.
Don’t Take Down the Mistletoe
Just because you don’t have a sweetie to kiss under the mistletoe does not mean that you shouldn’t have it hanging there. When your kids go under the mistletoe, give them the biggest hug and kiss that you can. Don’t forget to give yourself kisses too. Remember loving yourself is a part of the healing process.
Keep your Business together after divorce
A small business is more than just an asset to the owners; it generates income, but also is a physical representation of hard work and dedication that you have put into the business.
Divorce can be a very big threat to a small business. With the right strategies and help from the right people, however, you can ensure that your business survives the divorce and remains strong long afterward.
Strategy #1: Getting an accurate and complete business estimate is essential
According to Illinois law, family businesses are assets and, therefore, subject to equitable division in the case of divorce, just like any other marital property. Equitable division means that if both parties cannot reach an agreement, property will be split based on what the court deems fair, including factors such as the length of the marriage, the age, health, and income potential of each property, and the contributions of each spouse to the marriage. Equitable marriage does not mean a 50-50 split.