When you share parenting responsibilities for your child with your former partner, things are not always going to be easy. You will almost certainly experience disagreements with the other parent over a variety of concerns including the child’s activities, your relationship with the child, and your ability to properly exercise your parenting time. Regardless of the difficulties, however, it is very important for you to continue following any orders entered by the court so that you do not put your parental rights in jeopardy.

Components of a Parenting Plan

Following a divorce or breakup of unmarried parents, arrangements must be made for the couple’s child or children. To facilitate the process, the law requires the parents to submit a proposed plan regarding each parent’s responsibilities for the child. Each parent may submit a separate proposal or they may develop one together. A parenting plan must contain a number of other elements, but the most important considerations include the allocation of significant decision-making responsibilities and a parenting time schedule. Once a parenting plan has been approved by the court and entered as an order, both parents must abide by its terms.

While there are certain exceptions, most children fare best after divorce when they have a lasting and healthy relationship with both of their parents. Unfortunately, there are situations in which one parent tries to interfere with the bond that the child has with the other parent. This is known as parental alienation, and it can have a serious impact on the mental and emotional well-being of a child. Learn how to spot its symptoms, and what to do if you suspect that it is happening to you and your child.

Symptoms of Parental Alienation

During and after a divorce, emotions are high and couples are often struggling to find a new way to communicate and get along. This is just a part of the process, and there are bound to be a few bumps along the way. After all, it can take time to perfect the drop-off, pick-up, and parenting time schedules. This is different than parental alienation, which is an intentional interference with another parent’s relationship with their child. Symptoms that indicate this insidious and damaging behavior may include:

Following a divorce, you may want nothing more than to move to new city or state and start fresh. Doing so may require starting a different job or pursuing an education in your new town, as you look to move forward with your post-divorce life. For a parent with shared parenting responsibilities, however, the decision to relocate is much tougher, even if the desire to move is the same. If you want to move and seek new beginnings with your child, there are a number of things that you will need to consider.

The Other Parent’s Consent

When you have been allocated half or more of the parental responsibilities for your child, one of your duties, according to the law, is to help your child foster a relationship with his or her other parent. This presumes, of course, that a relationship between the child and the other parent is healthy and in your child’s best interest. With that in mind, before relocating to a new city or state with your child, you will need to seek the other parent’s consent, and have your parenting time agreement updated to reflect the new reality.

While many divorcing parents are able to reach a reasonable agreement regarding parental responsibilities and parenting time, many others simply are not. In some cases, the parents are unable to put aside their personal differences and focus on the needs of the child. In others, each parent may have the absolute best intentions but are having difficulty compromising with one another. When proceedings for the allocation of parental responsibilities or other child-related concerns encounter such obstacles, the court may appoint a specially-trained lawyer to serve as guardian ad litem (GAL) for the duration of the case.

The GAL’s Role

A guardian ad litem acts essentially as an extension of the court. He or she is granted investigative powers to study the circumstances of the family and the child in question. The GAL may interview the child, each parent, siblings, and other relevant parties, as well as review court transcripts, financial documents, and any other evidence that may be helpful. Upon completing the investigation, the GAL prepares a recommendation for the court, based on what he or she believes would be the ideal situation for the child.

If you hope to share parental responsibilities for your child following a divorce or break-up, you and the other parent will need to develop an agreement for doing so. Known in Illinois as a parenting plan, this agreement is intended to allocate responsibilities to each of you, so that you both fully understand your rights and attendant obligations. The law provides a number of elements that must be covered in a parenting plan, but one, in particular, can be a major sticking point for many couples. You and your spouse will need to determine how the right of first refusal will apply to your unique situation.

Understanding First Refusal

The right of first refusal is a concept that stems from the understanding that, during your assigned parenting time, you may occasionally be required to find an alternative source of care for your child. Put simply, sometimes you need a babysitter. Whether you want a social night out with friends or you need to travel out of town for a week on business, the occasional need for a sitter is understandable.