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Posted on in Divorce

Lombard divorce attorneysThere is some confusion in the general public as to the extent that a spouse’s adultery can affect a divorce case. Television and movies often show an enraged husband or wife discovering that their partner is having an affair and yelling about how they are going to take the house and have full custody of their children. Although adultery is still frowned upon by society, it is usually irrelevant to divorce proceedings.

No-Fault State

Since the beginning of 2016, Illinois has been what is called a “pure no-fault state.” A no-fault state is one which does not require divorcing couples to report the reason or “grounds” that they are seeking the divorce. In the past, things like mental cruelty or adultery could be reported as the official reason that the marriage ended. Today, all divorcing couples in Illinois as assumed to be divorcing on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences.”  More specifically, a divorce will only be granted when “irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and the court determines that efforts at reconciliation have failed or that future attempts at reconciliation would be impracticable and not in the best interests of the family.”

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genetics, cheating, Lombard family law attorneyMaybe he swears it meant nothing to him. Maybe she promises it will never happen again. Whatever the situation, many couples will find themselves facing a situation in which one partner has been been unfaithful.  They will have to decide either to forgive the indiscretion and move on together, or to end the relationship. Obviously, for married couples ending the relationship typically means divorce, and infidelity continues to be among the most common reasons for ending a marriage. For those that decide to work out their relationship, questions inevitably remain about what caused the cheating partner to stray.

Part of the answer may lie in the human genetic code, as scientists continue to research links between genetics and human behavior. New studies are emerging on a regular basis relating the effect a specific gene or gene variant may have on the choices an individual makes. Several projects in the last few years have identified a number a genes, in fact, that may have a direct impact on a person&s self-control over inclinations toward thrill-seeking behavior, including infidelity.

One such study from Binghamton University, State University of New York, examined the impact of a variant of the dopamine receptor polymorphism, or DRD4, gene. Commonly associated with pleasure-seeking behaviors such as gambling and alcohol use, the DRD4 variation also demonstrated connection to uncommitted sexual activity, including one-night stands and infidelity. While the researchers did not claim the genetic variant necessarily caused such behavior, it was certainly more common in subjects with the variation.

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cheating dating websiteThe online dating website Victoria Milan is marketed specifically for people who are seeking "discreet affairs." The site has conducted several surveys of its users to help gain insight in what clients who sign up are really thinking.

The site, which has users from all over Europe and North America, conducted a survey of U.S. clients to find out which city has the most active online users. And the winner is Chicago, where clients spend 25 percent more time on the dating site than clients in the rest of the country. Los Angeles came in at 21 percent higher than the rest of the country’s users, New York City at 18 percent, Houston was at 11 percent and Dallas came in at nine percent.

In another survey the site conducted, two-thirds of those survey admitted they would not cheat if it wasn’t for the internet. Sixty-six percent of users said that the internet gives them easy opportunities to stray, with all the social media sites that are available.

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adultery, infidelity, divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, Arlington Heights divorce attorneyHas the time come to change our western views on adultery and marriage? According to a recent article published by The Huffington Post, perhaps it has. No longer does the act of adultery result in the offending spouse strolling through town with a scarlet letter sewn to her bodice or does the adulterous male receive a good flogging but are we truly ready to alter our thought process when it comes to marital deception?

It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of all couples in the United States will deal with some form of infidelity at one point in their marriage. David M. Buss and Todd K. Shackelford, University of Texas, Austin, co-researchers responsible for this data, also believe these numbers may be conservative since the act of adultery resulting in divorce can still taint the marital waters with a shade of crimson. Is Adultery Inevitable? Perhaps. As we evolve, marriage has also evolved. We are living longer than previous generations. As the vow states, "till death do us part", but will we remain satisfied with our partners on all levels, emotionally and physically? Or do we tread on dangerous ground resulting in adultery and possibly divorce? East Meets West?

Being married is highly vital to secure one's social status in Eastern culture. Love is not necessarily part of  the marital equation, especially when there is a booming adultery inspired industry. In some eastern cultures, marriage is viewed as vehicle to secure your social standing. Without this collaboration, you could experience difficulty with obtaining employment and the opportunity of climbing both the social and corporate ladder. Clearly a different viewpoint from traditional Western culture.

Evolutionary Thinking? With the continual expansion of the Western melting pot, perhaps differing cultural influences may infuse our long-standing marital philosophy. Perhaps East may meet West for future generations. Will we celebrate a long term marriage as maintaining a strong sense of open communication rather than remaining physically faithful. Will future couples define what is expected and acceptable as terms of a successful marriage? For some the evolution of marriage may not be terms they are willing to accept. For many, infidelity is an issue. It will remain an issue although there is evidence of a lack of marital communication that may have led the offending spouse to his or her decision to stray. Most couples continually cite infidelity as the determining factor of filing for divorce, primarily due to an emotional disconnect from their partner. Luckily for Western culture we still have the opportunity to define our own marital commitment and decide when and why we may choose to dissolve our marriage. The family law team at A.Traub & Associates understands the emotional and financial importance of a divorce for whatever the reason. We will work diligently to ensure an open line of communication as we meet your legal needs and a fair and equitable resolution of your marriage.  Contact us today at 630-426-0196 to learn more about your options and our dedicated legal team.
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