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Some parents are forced to have a relationship with their child from hundreds of miles away. This is common for military members, individuals who travel often for work, separated couples, and those going through the divorce process. No matter the circumstances, trying to care for a child with a long distance between you is not easy. The transition is usually the most difficult part, especially if this is a recent lifestyle change. You start to miss the little moments and sometimes the big ones, too. Gone are the days of dropping your child off at school each morning and putting them to bed at night, and while you try not to miss the big events, life sometimes gets in the way. 

Here are a few tips about how to maintain a healthy parent-child relationship when many miles separate you.

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your name, changing your name, Illinois Divorce attorneysAlmost every divorce brings with it a large number of important concerns, including child custody, visitation, child support, and division of marital property. Other considerations may not seem quite so critical, but can have a larger-than-expected impact on the life of a divorcing individual. As a woman going through a divorce, you may be, in fact, dealing with one of these issues in particular. Specifically, you may be wondering if changing your name back to your maiden name after divorce is a good idea.

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage act provides the opportunity to restore a previous name, including a maiden name, for any woman whose marriage is dissolved under law. According to the statute, such a provision may be included in the divorce decree upon her request. Although the legal process of changing your name is not terribly difficult, deciding whether or not to do so is an entirely different matter.

There is no right or wrong answer when it comes changing your name. There is only what is right for each person. Many women, however, consider many similar issues in their decision-making process, including:

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consecutive marriageAccording to an article published by Psychology Today, second and third marriages often result in divorce. Past statistics support that while first marriages have a 50/50 chance of survival, second and third marriages often fail with rates of 67 to 73 percent, not providing much hope for eternal bliss.

The reasoning behind the statistics? Often, those entering a second marriage are "on the rebound," and those trying for the proverbial third time charm have failed to learn from past mistakes.

Cathy Meyer, a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and contributor to About.com’s Divorce Support, a general online resource for divorce, provides further explanation of why these marriages fail.

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Posted on in Children

how divorce affects childrenMultiple studies have all concluded the same thing: divorce is bad for children. But that is not to say that parents should stay together "for the sake of the children" since other studies have shown that can be just as emotionally damaging to children as well.

However, being aware of how children are negatively affected by divorce may help parents navigate the child through the healing process with as little emotional impact as possible. The following are some of the more recent studies over the past several years that have revealed some of the negative effects of divorce on children:

  • A study conducted last year by the University of Toronto found that children of divorced families begin smoking in much greater numbers than children with married parents. Women from divorced families were 39 more times more likely to begin smoking before they turned 18 years old and men were 48 percent more likely to begin smoking. There were 19,000 American people who participated in the survey.
  • Another study conducted at the University of Alberta concluded that children who came from divorced families had a greater chance of being prescribed Ritalin than children who live in households with both parents. The study looked at 5,000 children who were not on Ritalin and lived in two-parent households. Over a six year period, 13.2 percent of the children had their parents divorce. Almost half of those children were prescribed Ritalin, compared to only 3.3 percent of children whose parents were still together.
  • In 2011, the University of Wisconsin-Madison concluded in their study that children who come from divorced homes often fall behind other children in social skills and math scores. They are also more likely to suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and stress.
  • A 2005 study at the University of Utah found that children who come from divorced homes are more likely, as adults, to get divorced themselves. Researchers found that if one spouse had parents who had divorced, the couple was twice as likely to have a failed marriage. If both spouses had experienced their parents divorcing as children, then the odds that they would get divorced tripled.
If you are considering a divorce and are looking for an experienced Arlington Heights family law attorney, contact A. Traub and Associates for a consultation today.

LaraAfter going through divorce, many people find themselves in a very serious state of depression.  Divorce can drastically change your entire life, and it can be difficult, but not impossible, to get back on your feet.  There are a few simple steps you can take to make the process more bearable.

  1. An important first step is to look into counseling and therapy.  It is often true that self-esteem can take a serious toll before and during the process of your divorce.  Therapy can help you understand why your relationship didn’t work out so that you can begin to move forward in a positive way.
  2. It is important that you develop your own, new social life.   This will help get your mind off of things as well as set the tone for your new life.   Accept invitations to coffee and dinner, but don’t feel the need to rush.  Take your time, and new friends will come.
  3. Your home will most likely feel very strange after a divorce.  It is full of memories, both good and bad.  It is very common for those who go through a divorce to crave a fresh start.  If your finances allow it, consider moving into a new home or apartment.  If not, try redecorating your home and giving it a new feel, one that matches your new independent lifestyle.  This may include getting rid of some of your old things that have sentimental value.
  4. Redecorating or moving into a new home includes creating your new, personal bedroom.  Sleeping alone can feel strange at first, but it probably won’t take long for you to begin to enjoy not having to share your space.  Turn your new bedroom into your own personal haven; do things the way you have always wanted to.

These are only a few ways to start to get back on your feet after a divorce.  If you or somebody you know is struggling to develop a new life for yourself, don’t be afraid to seek the assistance of a dedicated Illinois family law attorney.

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