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mental healthThere are many reasons which cause people to make the decision to file for divorce. Sadly, one of those reasons is when the other spouse suffers from mental illness. Studies have shown that people who suffer from mental illness have a higher rate of divorce. One study that was conducted in 2011 actually put that divorce rate increase at between 20 to 80 percent.

The multi-national study was conducted by the National Center for Biotechnology Information. The researchers found 18 different mental disorders which not only had an effect on whether or not a person dealing with one or more of those disorders stayed married, but also affected whether or not they married in the first place.

The mental disorders which had the largest impact on divorce rates were alcohol abuse, major depression, and specific phobia, such as post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD).

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Posted on in Divorce

benefits of divorceMaking the decision to divorce can be one of the hardest decisions a person has to make. A couple at this crossroads has usually struggled for years trying to make their marriage work. It can be even more heartbreaking if there are children involved.

The aftermath of divorce can feel as if a death has occurred. In a way it has – the death of the marriage. This can leave a person dealing with all kinds of emotions, ranging from grief to sadness to anger. But there is also, many times, relief felt that the person can move forward.

In fact, research has shown that for women, once they move past the grieving stage, they are actually much happier for at least the five years following their divorce, often more content than they had ever been in their lives.

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signs of marriage troubleIs your marriage in trouble? There are signs that marriage and family therapists say can be indicators that a marriage is headed for divorce court. They are also good indicators if you have been struggling with the decision to divorce of where exactly your marriage is at.

  • Do you find yourself no longer consulting or valuing your spouse’s opinion or input? From serious topics, such as work issues, to plans for the weekend, making decisions on your own without even broaching the subject with your spouse, especially if this is something you always did in the past, is an indicator of a breakdown in communication.
  • Another sign there could be serious problems is if you do not consider ever putting your spouse’s needs or wishes ahead of your own anymore. As one therapist put it, making yourself "king or queen of the castle" is a sign something is wrong.
  • Has the ebb and flow of giving in the relationship now been replaced by a scorecard of what you do and what your spouse does?
  • Do you feel like you are living with a partner or with a roommate? Partners work together, making plans for the future and achieving goals together. Roommates share the same space but live singular lives. They pick up after themselves, cook their own dinners and buy their own food, etc., without considering or including the person they live with.
  • Do you purposely hit your spouse’s "hot button" to try to get a reaction from him or her? In healthy relationships, we learn what things are upsetting to our spouse and try to avoid those actions. That’s not always the case in marriages that are breaking down.
  • Do you still date? Even married couples need to court and woo each other, just like they did when dating. Love notes, little gifts, and wanting to look good for your spouse are all things that help keep the romance in a marriage.
  • Do you still talk? Not just talk about problems or issues that come up, but do you and your spouse enjoy conversations with each other about anything? If you barely communicate with your spouse, unless it is about who needs to pick up the kids or take the dog to the vet that can indicate a marriage in trouble.

Do you think a lot about what life would be like without your spouse in it and envision it as a much happier and better life than it is right now? If you are thinking about divorce, contact an Arlington Heights family law attorney to find out what legal options you may have.

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