While you are in a relationship, it may difficult to recognize the signs of domestic abuse. However, just as you may recognize the symptoms of an illness, there are signs to be aware of that show that you may be a victim of abuse. It is important to recognize these signs and take steps to protect yourself and your family from harm. 

What Is Domestic Abuse?

In Illinois, physical harm, willful restriction of personal liberties, threats, harassment, and stalking are all considered domestic abuse. Accusations of abuse are very serious, and they could lead to criminal consequences such as jail time or fines, as well as decisions in family court that affect divorce proceedings and a person’s parental responsibilities regarding his or her children. 

The recent allegations of sexual harassment or rape against many influential individuals have put the issues of harassment and abuse in the spotlight more than ever before. Important people such as President Donald Trump, Senator Al Franken, actors Kevin Spacey and Sylvester Stallone, and film producer Harvey Weinstein have been accused of forcing unwanted sexual contact onto victims. These allegations sparked a fury of media attention and have encouraged more victims of sexual assault to report the crime against them. Time Magazine even dedicated their “Person of the Year” title to “the silence breakers”: those women and men who came out with their own stories of violence, intimidation or harassment. Much of the attention regarding assault and violence has centered around inappropriate sexual encounters between acquaintances or coworkers. Sadly, many men and women who are victims of abuse or assault are suffering at the hands of their own spouse or romantic partner. This type of abuse is called domestic violence, and it is just as serious as any other type of abuse.

Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence or relationship abuse, is defined as a pattern of behaviors used by one person to maintain power and control over their romantic partner. Anyone can be a victim or a perpetrator of domestic violence. Such abuse does not discriminate based on age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. Often, women are assumed to be the only victims of domestic violence, but this is not true. Men can also be victims of abuse at the hands of their spouse and other family members. Perpetrators of domestic violence might:

Domestic violence is one of the most common family issues in the United States today, unfortunately, and it has an especially pernicious effect on children. If a parent who has committed domestic violence is permitted to continue seeing his or her children, studies have shown that that child has a greater propensity to perpetuate violence in the future. The state of Illinois considers it a high priority to ensure that children are not exposed to such behavior, and as such, if your spouse has charges or convictions, you may be able to mount a serious challenge to their parental fitness.

Domestic Violence Defined

Illinois’ Domestic Violence Act (DVA) of 1986 defines domestic violence as abuse, both physical and otherwise, as well as “interference with personal liberty or willful deprivation.” It also makes a point of identifying a victim as any family or household member, rather than just a spouse. Thus, the law encompasses spouses, but also family members related by blood, people who are (or were) dating or living together, and co-parents of a child who are unmarried. So, for example, if the mother or father of your child abuses you, the DVA still applies in your case, whether you are married or not.

If you have spent any time on the social media platform Twitter recently, you may be familiar with the hashtag “Maybe He Doesn’t Hit You.” The provocative message seeks to raise awareness about domestic violence—specifically psychological abuse.

Hidden Dangers

Psychological or emotional abuse often does not garner as much attention as physical abuse does. Physical abuse is often easier to spot because the victim may have visible bruises and scars or may need medical attention. Unfortunately, emotional abuse can go unnoticed by others until it becomes extreme. Even worse, many victims might not even realize that they are in an abusive relationship. People who have been victimized in the past or grew up with abusive or neglectful parents may consider certain abusive behavior to be normal. Victims of abuse may believe they deserve this damaging treatment because they are unworthy of more compassionate behavior. By sharing their stories of triumph over psychological abuse, men and women are taking the stigma out of discussing this form of domestic violence. The hashtag—a character used to track trending topics on social media—has been used in posts to share some gut-wrenching examples of psychological abuse, including:

We have all seen the tropes in movies and on television of regular clients at a beauty salon or barbershop. They come in for their cut, color, or style, and carry on a very familiar conversation with their stylist or barber. Unlike other media depictions, this type of scenario is extremely common in the real world. Many people—and especially women—come to view their regular hairdresser as a trusted friend and confidant. Thanks to a new law in Illinois, that trust will soon take a drastic step forward as licensed beauty workers have been tapped to join the battle against domestic violence.

Measure Amends Current Licensing Laws

Last summer, Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner signed a bill that requires licensed beauty workers—including hairdressers, braiders, barbers, cosmetologists, nail technicians, and others—to participate in domestic violence awareness training as a part of their licensing requirements. Initial training will be required for workers looking to obtain a license for the first time. For those who are currently licensed beauticians, an additional hour of ongoing domestic violence education will be added to the requirements for renewal every two years.