Posted on September 08, 2015 in Child Custody

As the new academic year gets underway, recently divorced or separated parents may be dealing with certain issues for the first time. You may feel embarrassed going to meet with your child’s teachers, letting them know that this year might be a little rocky as you all adjust to a new post-divorce dynamic. Depending on your relationship and the circumstances of your split, your ex-spouse may be fully invested in helping your child minimize distractions and to make the most of the new school year. A cooperative approach is always preferable to contentiousness and, together, there are some steps the two of you can take to make your coparenting situation work.

Communicate

Above all else, the relevant people involved with your child’s education must be able to communicate with one another. Of course, you should be able to maintain an open dialogue with the other parent, but it is also important to communicate with teachers and administrators. More than just telling teachers that your child might have a rough time, take the time to talk with your child’s teacher. Be willing to accept feedback and professional opinions. Chances are, the teacher has dealt with shared custody situations before and may be equipped to quickly identify areas of concern. Additionally, if you, the other parent, and educators are all on the same page, your child will be less likely to "forget" about an assignment or to succeed at hiding poor performance.

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 Posted on August 31, 2015 in Divorce

Once a couple has decided to separate or divorce, there will obviously be some expected costs. Often, the separation period currently required under Illinois law will force one spouse to find a new place, incurring expenses for rent, utilities, and day-to-day living. You and your soon-to-be ex may also spend money on counseling services, legal fees, and other incidentals, in preparation of or in reaction to the process of divorce. Sometimes, however, one or both spouses will use marital funds for other purposes while the dissolution is pending, which may be considered dissipation, depending on the circumstances.

Dissipated Assets

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers defines dissipation as "the use of marital property or funds for the benefit of one spouse for a purpose unrelated to the marriage." The caveat is that, in order to be dissipation, such use must occur while the marital relationship is irreconcilably breaking down, or after it has broken down completely. For example, a spouse in the midst of an otherwise healthy marriage who spends money on a lavish vacation with his or her friends may be guilty of misusing family money, but not dissipation. That same vacation taken as the marriage is falling apart may, in fact, be dissipation.

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 Posted on August 29, 2015 in Adoption

In today’s world, blended families are becoming increasingly common. For some, it may be the result of a remarriage, while others are waiting longer to get married for the first time. Whatever the case, a marriage involving children from previous relationships can be both extremely challenging and very rewarding. What happens, however, when your new spouse expresses interest in pursuing the adoption of your child?

Why Adoption?

When you chose to marry your new spouse, you probably gave a great deal of thought to his suitability as a stepparent. Like most parents, you probably consider your child’s happiness and best interests in virtually every decision you make. Hopefully, the transition to a new parental situation has been a positive one for your child and his or her relationship with your spouse is becoming stronger every day. A stepparent bond does not require adoption to be effective; it is based on human interaction, trust, and mutual love.

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 Posted on August 27, 2015 in Divorce

Headlines around the world are ablaze with news of a data dump including the hacked information of some 37 million people. The accounts are associated with subscribers of Ashley Madison, a website that advertises itself as a forum to connect married users looking to have an affair. Email addresses found among the hacked data have been linked to TV personalities, politicians, and military personnel, along with countless private citizens. The exposition of Ashely Madison’s subscriber lists has forced many couples into unexpectedly dealing with allegations of infidelity, and probably have some already considering divorce. Before making any rash decisions, it is important to realize that your spouse may not be lying about his behavior.

Look But Don’t Touch

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 Posted on August 25, 2015 in Spousal Support

If you are divorced or are in the process of getting divorced, it is understandable that you might feel lonely and desire the companionship of a romantic partner. New relationships are exciting and often rejuvenating, especially for an individual coming out of an unhappy marriage. However, if you are receiving spousal maintenance or have asked for maintenance in your divorce, it is important to understand the potential impact of a new relationship, especially if you are considering moving in together.

Spousal Support

The law in Illinois recognizes that, after a divorce, it is sometimes necessary to assist a lower-earning spouse in regaining his or her independence. Based upon a consideration of a number of factors related to the marriage, a court may order one party to provide spousal maintenance to the other for a period of time-or permanently, if the marriage was long enough. The specific calculations are expected to follow a standard set forth in the law, but the original determination of necessity is left to the court.

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 Posted on August 18, 2015 in Divorce

Beginning in 2016, the family law landscape in Illinois is set to change rather dramatically, as a sweeping new law goes into effect on the first of the year. The new legislation, signed by Governor Bruce Rauner last month, amends a number of provisions in the law pertaining to divorce, child custody, parental relocation, and other family-related concerns. Over the next few months, as details of the new law become clearer, future posts on this blog will address some of the various expected impacts.

"Separate and Apart"

Among the most significant changes offered by the new measure is the drastic reduction of the required separation period for a no-fault divorce. Under the current provisions in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences-colloquially known as no-fault divorce-may not be granted unless the parties "have lived separate and apart for continuous period in excess of 2 years." By mutual agreement, the separation may be reduced but may not be less than six months.

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 Posted on August 13, 2015 in Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, there are many seemingly minor considerations that could have far-reaching consequences. One of these is the increased  use of social media. According to Jeff Landers, certified divorce financial analyst and Forbes contributor, social media can have unforeseen ramifications for your divorce, especially in complex or high-asset marital dissolution. "Even if he’s blocked you from seeing his posts directly, your mutual friends can still tell you all about the ski trip he took to Switzerland with his girlfriend a week after claiming he couldn’t afford to pay spousal support," Landers said as an example. It is also vital to be aware that not every online "friend" is an ally, and even the most innocent posts can be seen and easily misinterpreted in a damaging manner.

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 Posted on August 11, 2015 in Divorce

Thinking about ending your marriage can be a devastating undertaking. Your marriage vows promised that both of you would commit your lives to each other. However, one day you may realize that you are unhappy in the marriage, or not able to connect with or find joy in being with your partner. It is important to remember that you are not a failure; people change as they develop in their careers and other parts of their life. In some cases, one partner’s actions can damage the marriage beyond the hope of reconciliation. Sometimes, the healthiest option for both parties is to consider a divorce.

Emotionally Healthy Living Environments Are Important for Children

Although staying together for the children is a tempting reason to remain married, this can lead to stressful interactions and potential bitterness among family members. Living in a family environment that harbors shouting, hostile feelings, and manipulation on a regular basis is extremely damaging to both the adults and children involved. In situations where domestic violence is present (physical, emotional, sexual, or psychological abuse, financial manipulation, etc), it is critical to seek help immediately.

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 Posted on July 30, 2015 in Child Custody

If you are in the process of negotiating arrangements for child custody or visitation, you may wish to request the inclusion of the right of first refusal. This recent addition to child custody laws in Illinois provides parents with additional access to time with their children, with priority over non-parental child-care. When in effect, the right of first refusal can also help facilitate a more cooperative relationship between divorced or separated parents.

By Agreement or Court Order

As with most aspects of child custody and family law, you and the other parent may come to an agreement over the right of first refusal without intervention of the court. By including it in your arrangement, you agree that if you require child-care for a significant period of time, you will offer the other parent the opportunity to provide the needed care before seeking another alternative. The right of first refusal may be set up to work in both directions between parents or, alternatively, it may only apply to one parent, if appropriate.

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 Posted on July 28, 2015 in Divorce

As you work through the divorce process, you and your soon-to-be ex spouse will undoubtedly attempt to discuss dozens of different topics related to your split. Some may be rather mundane, such as who gets to keep the coffeepot as a wedding present. Others, however, may have more of an immediate impact, such as who is responsible for making the mortgage payments or taking the kids to school. While it may seem easier for the two of you to rely on verbal agreements, consider an aphorism that is widely known throughout the medical field and employment law: "If it is not written down, it did not happen."

Oral Contracts

Strictly speaking, a verbal agreement can constitute an oral contract. An oral contract, in turn, may be enforceable under Illinois law. The challenge, however, lies in proving the existence of the oral contract. Your husband may have told you not to worry about the rent this month, but if you cannot prove he promised to pay it and your name is also on the lease, you are likely to be stuck with no avenue for relief.

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