The Divorce Season: January through March

 Posted on February 11, 2014 in Divorce

If the holidays have left your relationship feeling strained, and you find yourself considering your options, even has named January as "Divorce Month."

According to statistics, the number of couples who file for divorce tends to spike after New Year’s Day, gradually increasing through the spring until reaching a peak in March. According to psychiatrist Mark Banschick, this is because the start of the new year represents a time of introspection and self-evaluation, where people often examine their lives and relationships. It also represents a time of change for many, and many couples choose to begin thinking of changing their relationship status at this time.

Still, many couples prefer to wait until after Valentine’s Day to actually file. This may because they hope the day of romance will provide a ray of hope for their relationship, or because it takes time to secure all of the necessary funding and paperwork that will be necessary during a divorce proceeding. There also seems to be a general desire to wait until the holiday season is over, so as not to appear heartless by filing for a divorce right before Christmas. Other couples prefer to wait for a time when children of the relationship are settled back into a school routine before filing in the hopes that it will make the transition a bit easier.

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Marital Myths: Breaking Traditional Marital Laws to Ensure Everyday is Valentine’s Day

 Posted on February 08, 2014 in Divorce

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, perhaps the best present you can give your spouse is permission to break the top ten traditional marriage laws handed down from generation to generation - many of which our grandmothers whispered to us right before heading down the aisle!

 Recently Woman's Day and Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW granted all married couples permission to forgo these top 10 age-old axioms for long-term marital bliss without fear of immediately marching off to divorce court.

•  Never Go to Bed Angry – possibly derived from the bible and grandma's favorite. Nonsense- you are both tired, get some sleep and discuss it later.
•  Honesty is the Best Policy – not true. Consider your partner's feelings and realize that he or she does not need to know every detail of your previous life.

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Along for the Ride: Illinois Attorneys Helping Clients Navigate the Emotional Divorce Roller Coaster

 Posted on February 04, 2014 in Divorce

Divorce could be briefly defined as the legal technicality that changes your marital status on your Federal 1040 form, but aside from the legalities involved, divorce is also an emotional process that will need attention and further defined as to how you plan to handle it.

 According to a recent article by Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D. and Peggy Thompson, Ph.D, not one person will handle their divorce to the same degree as say the neighbor down the street or the co-worker in the next cube. According to the authors, there are predictable emotions that will manage to surface for anyone working through a divorce. How you handle these "normal" emotions is up to you. You could find yourself dealing with them with ease and grace or you could find yourself dealing with a diminished capacity of all logical thought patterns affecting your ability to think clearly or to make rational decisions. For all comparative purposes, the stages of grief brought forth by the legal loss of a marriage closely parallel those experienced when dealing with the death of a loved one. In their article, The Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce, posted to Woman's Divorce.com, the authors discuss each dip of the Divorce Roller Coaster track:

•  Denial
  •  Nope, this isn't happening to us! My marriage is on track! We can fix this!

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Adopting From Illinois DCFS

 Posted on January 31, 2014 in Child Custody

In the past 10 years, the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) has helped more than 17,000 children find permanent homes. Adopting a child through DCFS comes with its own special benefits and challenges.

DCFS recognizes the challenges associated with adopting a child who is currently living in foster care or group homes. To make the process as easy and smooth as possible for potential adoptive families, DCFS offers a number of different support options for potential adoptive families, including:

• Reimbursement for the costs associated with adopting or assuming guardianship of a child from DCFS, including court costs and attorney’s fees;
• Monthly adoption subsides to help support the child’s basic needs such as food and clothing;
• Supplemental assistance for healthcare needs through Medicaid enrollment;

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Is Your Spouse Hiding Assets?

 Posted on January 27, 2014 in Asset Division

If you and your spouse have discussed the possibility of divorce or you perceive that separation is imminent, it may be a good idea to pay attention to your marital financial portfolio. In some relationships, one spouse manages financial matters for the family, but the other spouse should stay well-informed about marital assets and debts.

Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, an equitable split of marital assets is required in a divorce. Equitable refers to dividing marital property fairly and looking at several factors such as contributions, marital agreements, economic conditions, and marriage duration. When one spouse hides assets, an equitable solution is harder to obtain, but entirely possible when working with a knowledgeable divorce firm.

Five Red Flags for Hidden Marital Assets

While there are a myriad of options for hiding assets, there are some common practices people use that leave an unintended trail of evidence.

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Three Terms to Know in an Illinois Divorce

 Posted on January 23, 2014 in Divorce

Sometimes people use acronyms to shorten a phrase or term. The following terms are commonly used in matters of divorce, especially when there are children involved. When you do not understand certain terms, ask your attorney. Knowledgeable divorce attorneys  take time to explain each aspect of the process and properly prepare you for the road ahead.

What is a TRO?

A temporary restraining order (TRO) temporarily halts a specific type of activity. In a divorce, it is sometimes used to keep a party from selling off, donating or transferring ownership of marital property. Such orders are requested to handle emergent situations such as:

• Child custody
• Visitation
• Removal
• Maintenance (alimony)
• Access to a residence

A TRO can be extremely useful in obtaining short-term relief for potentially long-term issues.

What is a GAL?

A guardian ad litem, or GAL, is a court-appointed lawyer who handles legal actions on behalf of a person who is legally incompetent such as an infant or severely mentally-disabled individual. In a divorce case, the GAL will only be concerned about the best interest of the child they are assigned to. The guardian ad litem will do a thorough investigation and offer a recommendation regarding child custody and visitation arrangements that best suit the child.

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How to Have a Healthy Divorce

 Posted on January 18, 2014 in Divorce

Filing for a divorce can release a flood of emotions that can quickly catch you off guard. While these feelings are completely normal, they can make it difficult to proceed with the divorce in a calm manner. Luckily, the American Psychological Association has put together a few tips to help you have an emotionally healthy divorce.

Divorce Counseling

While sitting down together to talk about what you’re thinking and feeling is likely the last thing on your mind as you file for divorce, taking this simple step can help ensure that both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse remain emotionally healthy throughout the divorce process. Investing in a few divorce counseling sessions may help to keep your relationship amicable, which may make the process more comfortable and less traumatic for children in the marriage as well.

Write Things Down

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Mapping Your Marital Future: Tips for Discussing a Prenuptial Agreement

 Posted on January 15, 2014 in Divorce

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Dating and the Male Divorcee: Tips for the Dreaded First Date

 Posted on January 11, 2014 in Divorce

According to a recent Australian study covered by the Sun-Herald (Gulfport, MS) divorce means different things to men and women.

For women, the main concern following divorce is financial stability while for divorced men the biggest hurdle may be loneliness. The study reported that even after one year after the break-up, 48 percent of men still admit to experiencing a feeling of loss compared to their female counterparts; 39 percent reported feeling lonely. If is difficult to determine which former spouse will be undertaking the first step to dating post divorce, but with the majority of women being the primary custodial parent, one may assume that it may very well be the male who takes the first leap into unfamiliar territory of the dreaded first date, post-divorce. Dr. Karen Ruskin, Psychotherapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offers these helpful hints:

• Be yourself;

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Divorce and Downsizing: Tips for Making the Move

 Posted on January 07, 2014 in Divorce

Divorce often results in a series of challenging lifestyle changes. Aside from dealing with the loss of your marriage, you may be facing the most difficult challenge of all – the loss of your family home.

For those residing in Illinois, marital property encompasses all property acquired during the course of the marriage and mandates equal distribution of all marital assets.

The final determination could have you seeking alternative living arrangements. With the possible sale of your home out of your hands, an apartment search can turn into a therapeutic way to start anew by downsizing your life, post-divorce.

If you are leaning toward an apartment or condo, the Apartment Guide offers these helpful tips:

Be Realistic

• Location, location, location!
• Does the apartment suit your overall lifestyle needs?
• Check for additional costs, association fees or pet security deposits.

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